life: acoustic & amplified

what will you reply?

The future showed up today

and invited me to tea

I was told to get myself ready

and leave my old dreams behind

I got dressed and off I went

cake was served with the tea

while I waited on the future,

wondering if I was ready or not

When the future finally showed

all I could see was a paintbrush as big as the sky

white bristles, black handled magic mojo making

moving gracefully along the ridge writing…

“We are co-creators of this happening

Get your brush and your pen, your drum

and your bell, your boots and your colors

and let’s get to work, the next line is yours…

so what is it that you will say with your life?”

I replied. I am ready.

🧡

Shiloh Sophia

My life is not tied up

in pretty blue bows

not many straight lines appear

on my map

to this place I stand

this place where I find myself today –

I’ve chosen to go off grid…hmmmm

well, maybe the truth is…

I found myself off grid

and after a while of wandering

I realized being off grid was the best gift!

So I began making difficult,

but purpose-filled choices

again and again to stay off grid!

I’ve skated thin ice and jumped with no net

over and over

despite my own stable-craving nature

these tough years teaching me so much

in solitary silence

I’ve learned that,

somehow….

In spite of…

the ground always holds my weight

the universe conspiring to help me

and so,

I live mostly on edges

where adventure steals

all the comforts of an easy chair existence

where there is no sinking into the clouded cover of…

‘safety’

when risking it all

in the danger zone of unconditional loving

takes everything you have

Every moment of being alive

it is complex living

it is big-picture purpose

it is loving the world enough to sacrifice pride

it is choosing to stay small and humble

does it matter?

does anything I do really matter?

(sometimes Im not sure)

But, then it comes down to this…

If anything at all matters –

then every tiny thing matters!

and so it goes

and so it goes

💞

Amy Lloyd

unrequited

BLESSING FOR UNREQUITED LOVE

A blessing on the eyes that do not see me as I wish.

A blessing to the ears that can never hear the far inward

footfall of my own shy heart. Blessings to the life

in you that will live without me, to the open door

that now and forever takes you away from me,

blessings to the path that you follow alone and blessings

to the path that awaits you, joining with another.

A blessing for the way you will not know me

in the years to come, and with it, a blind outstretched

blessing of my hands on anything or anyone

that cannot ever come to know me fully as I am,

and therefore, a blessing even, for the way I will

never fully know myself, above all, the deepest, kindest

wishes of my own hidden and untrammeled heart

for what you had to hide from me in you.

Let me be generous enough and large enough

and brave enough to say goodbye to you without understanding,

to let you go into your own understanding. May you always

be in the sweet central, hidden shadow

of my memory without needing to know who you were

when you first came, who you were when you stayed

and who you will become in your freedom now that

you are passed through my life and gone.

…

BLESSING FOR UNREQUITED LOVE

from the book

THE BELL AND THE BLACKBIRD

PUBLISHED

APRIL 2OTH 2018

© DAVID WHYTE AND MANY RIVER PRESS 2018

Somewhere in the in-between

I’ll meet you there.

Somewhere between the friends benches

and the Constable’s at the British art museum

Between unexpected Mondays

and snow storms of epic proportion.

Somewhere in the in-between

of stained-glass Tiffany windows

and those in the old, cold, beautiful church –

that’s where you’ll see me waiting.

Somewhere in the in-between,

on a street corner with our names intersecting,

on a spring day, before the flowers bloom,

or falling on my behind in a pile of snow, in the middle of winter,

laughing, and loving, weather of all sorts,

that’s where I’ll be hangin’ out, gettin’ rained on.

Somewhere in the in-between

of Louis’ Wonderful World,

Sam and Ruby singing the truth, Ain’t Love Somethin?

and Suzane Vega not allowing the wish for Caramel,

there’s where I’ll be.

That’s where I’ll always be,

waiting for an adventure with you.

Somewhere in the in-between

of stars, dust, lovers, Anam Cara – soul friend, kindness, beauty and truth,

Right there blazing glory, in the middle of the gray.

Yes, somewhere in between the in-between,

I’ll meet you right there,

my dearest, darling friend,

I’ll see you there,

Cause that’s where we always meet,

where we’ve always known each other.

Somewhere in the in-between

of heaven and earth.

⁃ Amy Lloyd

“To be nobody but yourself in a world doing its best to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight.” ~ E.E. Cummings

Long years after that shared pancake

hanging over the plate sides

that blurred minute when I stumbled

into the deep pool of your charm

both of you are now long gone

you alone linger like syrup on my hands

still sweet and sticky

still a bit aggravating

still not where I would like you to be

today’s view from my new friendless bench

is blue in all directions

except for those tantalizing steps leading straight into the water

all emerald green and wet slippery stone

enticingly inviting me to go down them looking for buried treasure

for the first time in years

I feel like I need a therapist

someone to help me sort things out

the lost causes of my eminent frailty

this new fatigue draining my cups bottom dregs

a resolute stubborn need to clear my throat dogging my days and nights

in spite of all suggested remedies

I wonder what I would do if you showed up somewhere, somehow

though I know you won’t, you’re much too much of a coward for that,

my superficial friend

I hope I would be strong enough to say, ‘no, thank you anyways’

and, even in my doubt of my own strength and my sadness of your choices,

I’m glad you walked away

I truly hope you’ll find some joy –

though I think, in some twisted way, your only joy comes from your inability to accept joy.

Oh how complicated and complex our humanity

how wounded we become

when we refuse to tell the truth to ourselves

when we decide someone else idea of what’s important for us

is how we will spend our own wild and precious

I pray I’ll never allow myself to fall into that trap

that waste of life

that destroyer of all goodness

love by any other offering

is not love at all

⁃ Amy Lloyd

I’m amazingly talented at daydreaming

It’s one of my gifts

I love to nap and I’m quite skilled at it

my bed kidnaps me quite regularly

I’m best friends with lots of benches

as well as, large rocks along my hiking trails

Water and I have a special bond

hot water is one of the very best gifts in life

I thought you were my friend

I refuse to be your fantasy girl

Loyalty has various shades of meaning to different people

Commitment is a tricky wicket of self entrapment

or ultimate freedom depending on your perspective

Today I said goodbye to the illusion that I could stay aloof to your charms

I turned around and walked the other direction

I was not offended by your lovely words, good looks and obvious sex appeal

just clear on the facts

of what we both want in the long run

– Amy Lloyd

collaboration

Let’s be nothing

You and I

let’s stand together

Souls naked

skin removed

all of our bones mixed together

building a sheltering pagoda

take me into you

I will do the same

We will become fog

rise to melt into our days as mist

You will become me

I will become you

as our hearts become one

fading into nothing for eternity

flying as everything for all the days thereafter

💞

Amy Lloyd

Lost am I

in her truth and beauty,

in the eyes of my muse

I am wonderfully

enriched,

like sitting on

the beach at night,

swimming in the

milky way,

I want calm

like an astronaut

in the space station,

wrting a tsunami

of poetry,

I want to make my world

more beautiful each day.

❤️

– JDJames

https://youtu.be/6Pm3RiP-z4c

all things to enjoy

God has not forbidden us to love the world

And to love man and all his works,

To love it with all the naked senses together,

Every shape and colour, every voice and every sound.

There is a shudder in our blood when we see

The traces of his craftsman’s hands upon the world…

-Gwenallt (Welsh poet)

When I laugh I have no chakras.

The sun is my heart.

When I cry the moon comes down

to caress my forehead

but finds no lotus to kiss open.

Breathing the Beloved’s scent

clears my horoscope

of every planet and sign.

The astrologer is bewildered.

All he sees in me is an empty page

full of light.

Don’t give me any more of your

esoteric books.

Grace has made me too stupid

to understand.

_____

Fred LaMotte

In the end, she became

more than what she expected.

She became the journey,

and like all journeys,

she did not end,

she just simply

changed directions

and kept going.

-r.m. drake

living prayer

A prayer makes sense only if it is lived.

~ Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh

Make me an instrument of Your love

A living prayer in every way

Take me beyond myself

Into a life that only makes sense from the inside

Where the wasted things are precious

and messy grace is the new normal

Make me an instrument of Your love

Wings unfolding every day

Take me beyond the starry sky

Into a life that only makes sense through eternity

Where the soul is all that matters

and I see each moment outside of time

Make me an instrument of Your love

Warrior of the innocent, I do pray

Take me into the heart of the battle

Into a place where my love makes all the difference

Help me to not question the importance of my role

and to surrender my own will in order to share Your love this and every day

🙏🏻

Amy Lloyd

I pour my light into you. I guide you and do not leave you. I have good plans for your life. I love when you step toward Me to realize them.

There is discouragement along the way—and distraction, too. But I keep walking ahead, and I reach out my hand, and I do not forsake you. I do not abandon you.

The path is filled with rock that can cause you to stumble—and weeds that entangle and attempt to trip you up. But I clear the path, in the midst of difficulty and sometimes rocky roads.

I clear the path.

My voice in you, these whispers to your heart, my words a blade of truth that swipes away uncertainty and doubt. Walk in the way I’ve prepared for you, this way full of twists and turns and hills and valleys, deserts and lush mountain-scapes.

I’ve walked this path. I walk it with you. How could I leave you?

You were made for this—to be with Me, walking this path, the path we walk together. Faith is not knowing the details of what the future holds, but trusting Me to be with you in it.

So keep walking with Me, in faith, along the path I’ve prepared just for you. That is where you will cling to Me most tightly, where you will feel my gaze steadfast upon you, when I will hold you.

I never let you go.

-Loop devotional

perspective

I walk in clouds of messy grace

carry them with me wherever I go

I traverse the worlds of the dark and the light

allowing them both to be places I belong

Repeating the truth of Angels,

‘As above so below’

I jump in puddles of deep infinity splashing stardust with my feet of clay

I sail my ship into the driest desert full sails catching the fine winds of new understanding

I climb the highest mountains

to see all the beauty found above and below me

I lay in the green grass of home to respect the very stuff that I am made of

I drop for 45 minutes into the center of the earth

to allow my stubbornness to burn away

I search the seas at midnight to find one open heart like nine

I am the night ocean

mysterious life. sparkling light-forms

I am the stable earth

wings of birds. creepy creeping things

I am the rain forest

rarest orchid. poison-est frog.

I am the hottest desert

stickiest cacti. smallest grain of sand.

I am the heavens

guarded by angels. home of God.

I am the word

spoken. written. thought.

I am you

child. sibling. parent. friend.

as you are me

loving. lover. loved. beloved. love.

we are possibles

be-ings. unlimited. infinite. I am’s.

❤️

Amy Lloyd

The hastily assembled angel saw

One thing was like another thing and that

Thing like another everything     depend-

ed on     how high it was     the place you saw

Things from     and he had seen the Earth from where

A human couldn’t see the Earth     and could-

n’t tell most human things apart    and though

He hadn’t ever really understood

His job he knew it had to do with seeing

And what he saw     was everything would come

Together at the same time everything

Would fall apart     and that was humans thinking

The world was meant for them and other things

Were accidental     or were decora-

tions meant for them and therefore purposeful

That humans thought that God had told them so

And what the hastily assembled angel

Thought     was that probably God had said the same thing

To every living thing     on Earth and on-

ly stopped when one said Really back     but then

Again     the hastily assembled angel

Couldn’t tell human things apart     and maybe

That Really mattered what     would he have heard

Holy     or maybe Folly     or maybe Kill me

❤️

The Tree of Knowledge by Shane McCrae

Even among those of us

most needful

or on the edge

the angels of God

don’t really judge

whether we are good or bad,

they are not sent on any mission,

they just really like

to be with us.

__________________

Steve Garnaas-Holmes

Unfolding Light
http://www.unfoldinglight.net

https://youtu.be/EPXPwRgV-NM

right now

for such a time as this

what if it all comes down to this moment in time

this arena you stand in right now

this opportunity straight ahead in the path

this pickle

this dilemma

this hot spot

this crisis

this…

just this…

this choice for you to take as it is

to find this moment enough

to rise strong in your glory

to be all that you can be

this very morning

🌝

Amy Lloyd

True happiness is to enjoy the present without anxious dependence on the future.

– Seneca

perhaps

the darkness has no answers

silence is just silence

fall, and the world laughs at you

cry cause you’re all alone

stand at this broken crossroad

step out to cross that road

break all the rules,

you’re golden

charm all those silver moons

chorus

fly

wont you fly

your wings will hold you

the sky’s your home

fly

oh wont you fly

your wings will take you

where you want to go

just fly

the morning holds the questions!

there in its tender light

rise, and the world claps for you

bow cause you made it home

stand at this broken moment

step out to claim your time

break all those ties,

you’re free now

lick all those silver spoons

Chorus

fly

wont you fly

your wings will hold you

the sky’s your home

fly

oh wont you fly

your wings will take you

where you want to go

just fly

💞

Amy Lloyd Lyrics

 

Shepherd me, Love.

Lead me out from my attachments.

Lead me to the green meadow of your heart,

your deep well of peace and nourishment.

Fill me with your breath again,
breath of your Spirit.

Lead me in your way,
not mine,

even through darkest canyons
shadowed by death,

for your presence is my safety,
your will my comfort.

You invite me to your table with my enemies
to share with them your grace:

gift that overflows,
blessing that makes life beautiful.

Lead me where goodness and mercy go;
then on every road
I will still be at home in you.

__________________

Steve Garnaas-Holmes

Unfolding Light

www.unfoldinglight.net

possibles

I think about you sometimes

You in the sunlight

You with the administrative qualities

You with the soft hair

With the skull that felt so right to my palm

All the crazy love

and the blue eyes crying in the rain

I think about you sometimes

I always seem to get an ache in my heart

Yet I always smile a little smile as well

I think about you sometimes

How it could have been everything…

How it could never be anything…

Then I sigh…

I send you a kiss and a wish for love

and I gently move forward into my own beautiful

and at moment, solitary path

❤️

Amy Lloyd

I get by

HELP is strangely, something we want to do without, as if the very idea disturbs and blurs the boundaries of our individual endeavors, as if we cannot face how much we need in order to go on. We are born with an absolute necessity for help, grow well only with a continuous succession of extended hands, and as adults depend upon others for our further successes and possibilities in life even as competent individuals. Even the most solitary writer needs a reader, the most Machiavellian mobster a trusted lieutenant, the most independent candidate, a voter.

Not only does the need for help never leave us alone; we must apprentice ourselves to its different necessary forms, at each particular threshold of our lives. At every stage we are dependent on our ability to ask for specific forms of help at very specific times and in very specific ways. Even at the end, the dignity of our going depends on others’ willingness to help us die well; the sincerity of their help often commensurate to the help we extended to them in our own life. Every transformation has at its heart the need to ask for the right kind of generosity.

There are two kinds of generosity or help for which we must ask: visible help and invisible help. Visible help is practical or transactional help, asking for visible help we ask for help with what we can see is troubling us or we pay for a bed and a meal on our onward way or we pay someone to work for us. But it may be that it is the second less easily recognizable and invisible help which is most crucial at stepping into the unknown. Though we can think of invisible help in the old sense of an intervention from angelic or parallel worlds, we can also think of it in a an every day practical way: invisible help is the help that we do not as yet know we need. Invisble help is the help we are not quite ready for and all we can do is shape our identity toward revelation, toward being surprised, toward paying attention to what is just about to appear over the horizon of our understanding.

This overwhelming need for visible and invisible help never really changes in a human life from the first day we are brought from the womb calling lustily for those commodities. We need extraordinary physical help to get through our first years, continued help through our childhood and extraordinary emotional help and good luck to get through our adolescence. After that the need for continual help becomes more subtle, hidden as it is by the illusion that we are suddenly free agents able to survive on our own, the one corner of the universe able to supply its own answers.

It may be that the ability to know the necessity for help; to know how to look for that help and then most importantly, how to ask for it, is one of the primary transformative dynamics that allows us to emancipate ourselves into each new epoch of our lives. Without the understanding that we need a particular form of aide at every crucial threshold in our lives and without the robust vulnerability in asking for that help we cannot pass through the door that bars us from the next dispensation of our lives: we cannot birth ourselves.

To ask for visible and invisible help and to ask for the right kind of help and to ask in a way in which we feel that it is no less than our due, that, in effect, we deserve a visible and invisible helping hand, may be an engine of transformation itself. Our greatest vulnerability is the very door through which we must pass in order to open the next horizon of our lives. In the very end comes also another beginning, the ancient sense of a door opening to some final unknown, some invisible voice attempting to help us come to terms with our own disappearance, the hand extended to help us over a horizon equally as mysterious as the one we crossed at our birth.

‘HELP’

in “CONSOLATIONS:

The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words.”

© David Whyte and Many Rivers Press 2015