life: acoustic & amplified

poetry, quotes & thoughts about life

Archive for the category “Mother”

of mothering  

“Whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother” (Matthew 12:50).


My love, do you hear that music, the one where we dance and your steps are light and you swing?


You mother in the quiet places and in the moments when it is loud and it feels impossible to hear. You mother in the choices, the choices to love beyond yourself, the sacrifice that comes with friendship, the nurturing of an arm across a shoulder, the carrying of beauty within you, the permission for Me to care for you, to pour love into your heart so that the ripple of my love continues.


A waterfall begins with a drop, and then a cascade, a drifting through quiet places, a collection until the drops pour past, all together. Mothering happens in the combination of Me holding you in my hands and letting my fingers open a bit to let you pour out what I give.


You can only mother from what I give.


Mothering is a collection of hopes for the future, a belief in good things and the willingness to go to the hard places for those you love. It is the shepherding of children, the gathering of expectation for a future that is to come.


It is faith in possibility for people beyond yourself.


To mother is to press in and give out and never give up. It is to hold on tight and let go, all at once. It is to walk beside and listen close and not fall away, even though the pain comes and it is hard to stay.


To mother is to stay.


And the staying isn’t what you think it looks like sometimes. It is the supporting of the one you hold close while believing it isn’t always you who knows the way.


In mothering, without Me, you don’t know the way.


To mother is to trust and laugh and cry and wave good-bye. It is to come again, despite rejection. It is to provide, when you feel you have nothing to give. It is to look beyond yourself for strength and feel frail and helpless and fall and believe that you will be caught so that you can lift your knees and see what is before you, the Son.


Mothering is not just about bearing a child. It can be that but it is not just that. You mother through loving whom I bring your way. Come on, daughter, look whom I bring.


So, I really didn’t want to do this blog today. It’s a hard one for me. I tried to do something easier, lighter…anything but this, but it was insistent…

The past few weeks I have found myself in conversations with 6 or 7 grieving mothers. Mothers grieving, angry, disappointed, hurting, ashamed over the loss of their children. All different stories, all the same feelings. 
I know those feelings well. I wrote the following piece a few years ago about my own loss – I began the grieving  process in 2006, 9 years into my loss of everything I ever loved, and that work continues every day. I am sharing this in hopes it may help someone going through similar pain. 


I try to clean up

pick up pieces of myself

from all over the frozen ground

Who knew hearts can turn into

Slivers of glass

dangerous to handle

Slice my fingers

I rub tears from my eyes

and find toxic rivers

Red flows 

Staining all of life

Small killing shards everywhere


Maybe millions

They stick to the inside of my chest

My throat

Puncture my lungs

Settle in my stomach 

as I try to eat breakfast 

It’s getting harder and harder to speak

To breathe

To stand

I fall face first into a pool 

Of freezing water

The glass becomes ice 

Eventually I crawl out of the water

but the ice remains 

a solid block I live with

for 9 years 

Containment my highest priority

Walking dead 

until that box breaks open

I begin to grieve

and begin slowly melting 

Fusing shattered pieces

absorbing them into 

the fabric of my living

Im still working on it

Still looking for the fire of love

to refine the gold

Scars show the hearts broken places

for glimmers of light to shine through

As grieving begins it’s healing work

And I become human 

for the first time



I have no quick fixes, or advice, here. Just a thought of hope, of choosing to stand strong in love and the blessings mothing brings. Go deep with your grief. Nurture yourself. Allow yourself to heal. Never forget:

Love always wins….


photo sources @ 

Note to Self:   

Inspiration from

 my son, Brandon (he’s made my mamma-heart very happy this morning)…LISTEN to Paul Baribeau sing Ten Things! 


The Quiet Power

I walked backwards, against time
and that’s where I caught the moon,
singing at me.

I stepped downwards, into my seat
and that’s where I caught freedom,
waiting for me, like a lilac.

I ended thought, and I ended story.
I stopped designing, and arguing, and
sculpting a happy life.7

I didn’t die. I didn’t turn to dust.

Instead I chopped vegetables,
and made a calm lake in me
where the water was clear and sourced and still.

And when the ones I loved came to it,
I had something to give them, and
it offered them a soft road out of pain.

I became beloved.

And I came to know that this was it.
The quiet power.
I could give something mighty, lasting,
that stopped the wheel of chaos,

by tending to the river inside,
keeping the water rich and deep,
keeping a bench for you to visit.

Tara Mohr
twitter: @tarasophia
Read Tara’s latest blog post

healing the child

As he approached the gate of the town, a man who had died was being carried out. He was his mother’s only son, and she was a widow; and with her was a large crowd from the town. When the Lord saw her, he had compassion for her and said to her, “Do not weep.” Then he came forward and touched the bier, and the bearers stood still. And he said, “Young man, I say to you, rise!” The dead man sat up and began to speak, and Jesus gave him to his mother.
—Luke 7.12-15

She had lost a child— that most hollowing grief. He was her only son, her only way to pass on what she meant to the world. She was a widow, sorrow already having come and made a home with her. She was now without family, without a way to survive in the world. Though a stranger to her, Jesus, the Compassionate One, felt her anguish with her.

There is something fundamental to who we are, a part of us we believe we can’t live without, why it is that we are alive, what it is that we have been given to give to the world, how we shall go on— it is the child within us, the offspring of our heart, the self we hope to be. And sometimes it seems that it’s taken from us. To some degree maybe we all are grieving the loss of the Child, the hope of our souls, the Love of our Life.

But the Child, our hope, our Beloved whom we have lost, God restores to us. This story of Jesus copies the story of Elijah raising the widow’s son (in 1 Kings 17), ending with the same words: “He gave him to his mother.” When our inner Beloved, our heart’s Child, has been taken from us, the Compassionate One touches our grief, stretches out upon our sorrow, and restores to us the Love we had lost. God’s work is to renew, to restore, to return life to us.

And to return us to life. For we are really the ones who are revived. We ourselves are God’s Beloved Child, who have in ways died, lost our life. There is, as the Elijah story says, “no breath left” in us. And God restores us to life. It often takes a long time. But we are brought back to life. It is a gift, a miracle. And the Healer will give us to our Mother.
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light


happy Mothers Day

I am your mother child you are never without me
You are a part of me and I of you
Carried in my body our spirits were attached forever
Remember that what God created no man can separate
I am your mother child you are never without me, never alone
Close your eyes and you will feel me
Always and forever with you

Debrah Englert


When you welcome your emotions as teachers, every emotion brings good news, even the ones that are painful. – Gary Zukav



The path we take makes all the difference!

Vulnerability is the path to intimacy and peace in every area of life.

It’s hard. It takes awareness and then making the choices – every time! Keep showing up. Don’t numb it, don’t apologize for it, don’t fight it. Just feel it all fully and allow it to be. It is what it is. And now make the choice to honor it. And to allow it to make you stronger, better, more fully yourself and more fully aware of how this connects us all together. We are one. When one suffers – we all suffer. That’s human, animal, the planet. If we want to end suffering, we must not want anyone to suffer. We must heal ourselves of these things so that we can truly heal others. Let it flow. Choose to look for and find any beauty right where you are. Choose to embrace the glory in the gray. Choose to speak words of life.


It’s all about love


We are never Alone…

Last night we ended up at the hospital with Chris’ mom. We got in bed at 4:57 AM this morning. We left Bernice in the ICU and came home to get some sleep and will head back there in a bit.

The Dr. (who looked more like a waiter at a TGI Friday’s) was really wonderful and explained her condition in very simple layman’s terms for us – her arota , the large vein coming out of her heart is enlarged and they will need to decide a treatment plan – hopefully not surgery – but that is not his expertise and he couldn’t tell us what the surgeons would decide. I thought it was nice he explained to her that surgeons usually have a ‘God-type’ complex and are not ‘people’ oriented and may not have a great bedside manner, but are very much experts in surgery and they are the best people to correct what is happening to her heart.

I understand what he was saying, but I wanted to tell him that’s not how, or who, God is – that is just the idea that people have decided is who God is!!!

As the night wore on and we waited for tests, waited for a room, waited for news, waited to sleep, waiting…waiting….this morning as I think about the coming days of unknown. I am reminded, and encouraged by this song, which I love! Thanks to Mandisa! We are never alone – He is with us – always – no matter what!

I’m convinced that God, who began this good work in you, will carry it through to completion – Phil 1:6

Confidence… thrives on honesty, on honor, on the sacredness of obligations, on faithful protection and on unselfish performance. Without them it cannot live.
– Franklin D. Roosevelt

So many of us believe who we have been created to be just isn’t good enough. I know the feeling, I understand it fully. I have had it most of my life – I still struggle with it in some areas of my living, which is why I am always aware! I want to be the BEST I can be. I want to reach my highest potential for happiness. I want to be who God created me to be and do what I was created to accomplish!

Someone recently told me that they ‘liked my confidence’. That it gave them ‘hope.’ Somehow it kinda hit me weird, I immediately heard the old voices telling me I was ‘talking too much’, ‘I just wanted attention’, that I was ‘vain’ – I felt like maybe I was being ‘too much’ and I felt myself pull back and not speak as much as I wanted to.

So, of course, I have thought it over for the past few weeks and processed the comment, why I felt that way and, I gotta tell you, the more I ’roll around’ in her comment – the more I am really liking it! Ha! I want people to have hope, I want to be the instrument of hope and peace! My confidence comes from the faithfulness, healing and miracles, which I have experienced over a difficult and broken life! It is not about self confidence – it is Christ-confidence!

I know this is much, much bigger than me! I have confidence because I have discovered the truth of the unconditional love of God! I am beloved, you are beloved! Every soul on earth has this vast value and this beloved status!!!!! Wooo hoooo! Now that’s something important to share!!!!!!!

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.     Maryann Williamson – Used by Nelson Mandela in his 1994 inaugural Speech



love sets free

Free will, though it makes evil possible, is also the only thing that makes possible any love or goodness or joy worth having. – C.S. Lewis
Today is a ‘Freedom Anniversary’ for me! It is a big deal! My life has been a progression of stepping towards freedom.
The battles have been long, dangerous and hard to win in order to free myself. Both physically and spiritually. I am not completely there yet – it is a life-long exploration and journey to free myself. The chains and bars in my prisons, because I find they are legion, are very strong. My Alcatraz type barren -rock islands were such a long way from shore, with many snipers, predators and sharp rocks in the water and on all sides of the shores. My guards were very alert and ready to shoot me, or keep me locked down and in solitary for my whole life. They were gleeful when I fell and happy over my pain and destruction.
And yet, the love, the words, and truth, of God were so much more powerful than any of these things, that no prison in this world could not hold me and, for 22 years now, I keep walking out of my prisons into the brilliant light and sunshine of the free!!!!

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
Maya Angelou

A free bird leaps on the back
Of the wind and floats downstream
Till the current ends and dips his wing
In the orange suns rays
And dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks down his narrow cage|
Can seldom see through his bars of rage
His wings are clipped and his feet are tied
So he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
Of things unknown but longed for still
And his tune is heard on the distant hill for
The caged bird sings of freedom.

The free bird thinks of another breeze
And the trade winds soft through
The sighing trees
And the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright
Lawn and he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
His shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
His wings are clipped and his feet are tied
So he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with
A fearful trill of things unknown
But longed for still and his
Tune is heard on the distant hill
For the caged bird sings of freedom.

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