unrequited
BLESSING FOR UNREQUITED LOVE
A blessing on the eyes that do not see me as I wish.
A blessing to the ears that can never hear the far inward
footfall of my own shy heart. Blessings to the life
in you that will live without me, to the open door
that now and forever takes you away from me,
blessings to the path that you follow alone and blessings
to the path that awaits you, joining with another.
A blessing for the way you will not know me
in the years to come, and with it, a blind outstretched
blessing of my hands on anything or anyone
that cannot ever come to know me fully as I am,
and therefore, a blessing even, for the way I will
never fully know myself, above all, the deepest, kindest
wishes of my own hidden and untrammeled heart
for what you had to hide from me in you.
Let me be generous enough and large enough
and brave enough to say goodbye to you without understanding,
to let you go into your own understanding. May you always
be in the sweet central, hidden shadow
of my memory without needing to know who you were
when you first came, who you were when you stayed
and who you will become in your freedom now that
you are passed through my life and gone.
…
BLESSING FOR UNREQUITED LOVE
from the book
THE BELL AND THE BLACKBIRD
PUBLISHED
APRIL 2OTH 2018
© DAVID WHYTE AND MANY RIVER PRESS 2018
Somewhere in the in-between
I’ll meet you there.
Somewhere between the friends benches
and the Constable’s at the British art museum
Between unexpected Mondays
and snow storms of epic proportion.
Somewhere in the in-between
of stained-glass Tiffany windows
and those in the old, cold, beautiful church –
that’s where you’ll see me waiting.
Somewhere in the in-between,
on a street corner with our names intersecting,
on a spring day, before the flowers bloom,
or falling on my behind in a pile of snow, in the middle of winter,
laughing, and loving, weather of all sorts,
that’s where I’ll be hangin’ out, gettin’ rained on.
Somewhere in the in-between
of Louis’ Wonderful World,
Sam and Ruby singing the truth, Ain’t Love Somethin?
and Suzane Vega not allowing the wish for Caramel,
there’s where I’ll be.
That’s where I’ll always be,
waiting for an adventure with you.
Somewhere in the in-between
of stars, dust, lovers, Anam Cara – soul friend, kindness, beauty and truth,
Right there blazing glory, in the middle of the gray.
Yes, somewhere in between the in-between,
I’ll meet you right there,
my dearest, darling friend,
I’ll see you there,
Cause that’s where we always meet,
where we’ve always known each other.
Somewhere in the in-between
of heaven and earth.
⁃ Amy Lloyd
“To be nobody but yourself in a world doing its best to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight.” ~ E.E. Cummings
Long years after that shared pancake
hanging over the plate sides
that blurred minute when I stumbled
into the deep pool of your charm
both of you are now long gone
you alone linger like syrup on my hands
still sweet and sticky
still a bit aggravating
still not where I would like you to be
today’s view from my new friendless bench
is blue in all directions
except for those tantalizing steps leading straight into the water
all emerald green and wet slippery stone
enticingly inviting me to go down them looking for buried treasure
for the first time in years
I feel like I need a therapist
someone to help me sort things out
the lost causes of my eminent frailty
this new fatigue draining my cups bottom dregs
a resolute stubborn need to clear my throat dogging my days and nights
in spite of all suggested remedies
I wonder what I would do if you showed up somewhere, somehow
though I know you won’t, you’re much too much of a coward for that,
my superficial friend
I hope I would be strong enough to say, ‘no, thank you anyways’
and, even in my doubt of my own strength and my sadness of your choices,
I’m glad you walked away
I truly hope you’ll find some joy –
though I think, in some twisted way, your only joy comes from your inability to accept joy.
Oh how complicated and complex our humanity
how wounded we become
when we refuse to tell the truth to ourselves
when we decide someone else idea of what’s important for us
is how we will spend our own wild and precious
I pray I’ll never allow myself to fall into that trap
that waste of life
that destroyer of all goodness
love by any other offering
is not love at all
⁃ Amy Lloyd
I’m amazingly talented at daydreaming
It’s one of my gifts
I love to nap and I’m quite skilled at it
my bed kidnaps me quite regularly
I’m best friends with lots of benches
as well as, large rocks along my hiking trails
Water and I have a special bond
hot water is one of the very best gifts in life
I thought you were my friend
I refuse to be your fantasy girl
Loyalty has various shades of meaning to different people
Commitment is a tricky wicket of self entrapment
or ultimate freedom depending on your perspective
Today I said goodbye to the illusion that I could stay aloof to your charms
I turned around and walked the other direction
I was not offended by your lovely words, good looks and obvious sex appeal
just clear on the facts
of what we both want in the long run
– Amy Lloyd
life: acoustic & amplified 