I haven’t blogged for a few years, imagine, if you will, walking back into this place a few years since the last time…
Yup, I forgot my user name and password. There have been changes, things they call ’upgrades’ (eye-roll on my part), many things are different than when I blogged everyday and was in the flow of daily posts. It was so easy. These past 2 posts have not been easy.
I know I will get better at it, things will get easier, I will know all the shortcuts before long. It will be worth it!
The world becomes drenched in pink light
and the full moon lives smudgy in the sky
Noticing this soft smile in the window shadowed light
I reflect, again, on who I have become in this life’s moment
Losing things still makes me a bit nervous
I still watch the gas tank light appearance with an edge of panic
and can’t relax when my phone is left with my towel
While I’m in a public pool
But I can spend some money on unnecessary and fun things
11 years ago, on March 18, 2011, during the season of Lent, I started this very blog.
I had no idea where life would lead during the next decade, but for lots of those years my way is chronicled in this blog. It’s the picture of a beautiful, difficult pathway, always leading me into life.
Over the past few weeks, without realizing the anniversary was coming today, this work has been calling to me again, after a hiatus of a while…
Last year was a whirlwind of wedding and moving and working on a business together, and buying and remodelIng a house and moving again.
Now THAT’s done!!! Yay!
Could it be, could there be…time…to do this again? Possibly, maybe.
I feel ready to explore it!
From the porch last night…
There was a moment
When the light softened,
when the day shifted
from day to evening.
When my eyes began to feel unafraid to look in that Western-ly direction.
When diamonds turned to molten gold,
and the riches of this place
felt earned and bestowed.
Vision of Emerald stripes,
the sound of duck and bird,
touch of cold nose,
smell of fresh cut grass
taste of salt and earth,
Blended into the deep orange
breathing-full purple and gray
the still glass of the lake reflecting
this brilliant light and
all the tall trees,
Standing ready to burst.
There was a moment
when the decadent spread,
This feast of the heart,
Felt completely satisfied
In this day
As only this moment
could be felt.
Brought to surface
to belong in the world
of my ever surprising,
There was a moment
When lingering in
quick creeping chill,
(after glowing warm)
abundance of gifts,
all encompassing awareness,
my body and mind sat still,
while my soul and heart
had a riotous dance party
all among the daffodils,
with all its wonder!
There was a moment
when, content and satiated,
I took up my empty glass,
and lit the fire.
Amy Mehringer 3.2022
As William Blake https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Blake used to say, “I’ve found my place to die.” Not anytime soon, hopefully, would love to spend the next lovely piece of years right here, and share the path from this place for a while –
Sometimes the magnitude of how life is changing for me brings me to a complete stop – as I sit, stand, pause, keep washing the dishes, etc. and just acknowledge these huge moments and breathe my gratitude for all that is now…
Dental Appointments Easter Decorations Grocery Shopping Cooking Dinner Baking bread New Curtains Creating a home Two becoming One
The Path to Union
By means of Invocation, the being awakens, and awakening becomes fullness. By means of balancing, fullness becomes internal wholeness. By virtue of exteriorized attention, internal wholeness becomes communion. By virtue of self-forgetfulness, Communion becomes Union.
Life seems so simple in so many ways… have decided to just stay in this moment and allow life to find it’s way
I SAID GOODBYE TO OLD KEYS
I said goodbye to old keys, faded welcome mats, too—
chipped porcelain, torn feelings, and fragmented dreams.
I said goodbye to past things that were no longer true:
Bad connections, warped reflections,
and high expectations I couldn’t hold to.
I said goodbye to old pain, bitter tears and dull varnish;
so long, wishes that waned or got covered with tarnish.
I said goodbye to old keys that open doors obsolete—
‘bye to staying too long when it’s better to leave.
And goodbye to the land of fabricated ideals,
—goodbye make-believe. Hello, what is real.
Goodbye, over-thinking. Hello, let it be.
I said, hello cloudless mind, rolling hills and new scenes.
WHAT I PROPOSE TO do now is to try listening to my life as a whole, or at least to certain key moments of the first half of my life thus far, for whatever of meaning, of holiness, of God, there may be in it to hear. My assumption is that the story of any one of us is in some measure the story of us all.
For the reader, I suppose, it is like looking through someone else’s photograph album. What holds you, if nothing else, is the possibility that somewhere among all those shots of people you never knew and places you never saw, you may come across something or someone you recognize. In fact—for more curious things have happened—even in a stranger’s album, there is always the possibility that as the pages flip by, on one of them you may even catch a glimpse of yourself. Even if both of those fail, there is still a third possibility which is perhaps the happiest of them all, and that is that once I have put away my album for good, you may in the privacy of the heart take out the album of your own life and search it for the people and places you have loved and learned from yourself, and for those moments in the past—many of them half forgotten—through which you glimpsed, however dimly and fleetingly, the sacredness of your own journey.
What does it take to be kind in a moment of aggravation? In a moment of tiredness? When things don’t go quite your way?
Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.
Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.
Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.
Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to gaze at bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
It is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.
~Naomi Shihab Nye
I don’t care who your mother or father are/or were
It’s none of my business
I care that you can overcome the dysfunction you grew up in
and become the highest and best self you were created to be
I don’t care how beautiful your body is, or how often you go to the gym
It’s truly boring to me
I care about the way you take care of yourself, the laughter lines gathering at the sides of your eyes and your ability to tell the truth at any given moment
I don’t care what church you go to
It’s a non issue for me
I care that you recognize beauty, that your prayers are conversations and that the mystery is larger than when you started seeking
I don’t care about fancy hotels and trendy labels
I like luxury a lot, yet it’s not my main concern
I care that you treat people well and with kindness and that you have the ability to relax and enjoy every moment of life – from the simple to the sublime
I don’t care who you vote for in any given election
Politics are my least favorite thing in the world
In my opinion, Politicians are mouthpieces for the money & power behind the curtain
I care about your character, what you do when no one is looking, how you empower people to step into their own skin and your desire to be vulnerable with your humanity
I don’t care what you used to have/or currently have in your bank account
That’s not what I value about you
I care about the way you interact and take care of the people who you are in relationship with and those who work for you, your ability to love others for who they are and how you encourage them to shine in their own light
I don’t care what celebrities you have met, or known in your life
They stand in their own shoes as you and I each must stand in our own
I care that you love your own voice and believe in the gifts God has heaped upon you and that you pour them out into the world freely and joyfully knowing it’s what makes the angels rejoice
I don’t care about the mistakes you have made or how disappointing life has been for you in the past
I care that you know your Next choice is always your most important and that there is ALWAYS something good in your day, if you choose to find it
I don’t care about your rants, your dogma, your ego or your willingness to be a bully
Ive experienced my share of abuse and control by narcissists and I refuse to be broken or a victim. Im healing those wounds and take responsibility for my own part in allowing it to happen
I care that you repent and will look your own patterns and actions in the eye and say, ‘I was wrong’ ‘I’m Sorry’ ‘Please forgive me’ ‘Thank you’ ‘I love You’ Changed behavior is the only thing I will accept and allow in my life from here
I don’t care if you’re a genius, or if you consider yourself one
I’m rather intelligent myself, but that’s not anything to brag about
I care that you can have a meaningful conversation with anyone who happens to be connected to you at any given moment – from the person who cleans your dirt to the person who does your surgery
I don’t care if you have blood decreed blue or royal, or if you have a doctorate of something fancy and that is what you believe makes you better, in some way, than me or others
It brings sadness to my heart that some people consider themselves better than others. We are all made of dust and stars.
I care about your soul, which has the same exact value of every other soul which has ever existed or will exist in a body on this earth