I want to run and feel and sing and tell 1,000 stories
I need to be all here
to be real
to see you
to be seen
to live through my senses
to love with my touch
there’s nothing else that is more valuable
there’s nothing else I want
there’s nothing else
❤️
Amy Lloyd
Some days I feel like a Pulitzer winning novelist
whose manuscript has been eaten by beetles
and whose typewriter has been thrown into the sea.
I feel like the greatest husband on earth
in the Alzheimer’s ward trying to pick out my wife.
A world class musician who’s just had a stroke.
A holy saint trapped in the body of—well, me.
A prima ballerina on crutches.
I feel extraordinarily gifted,
and unable to live it out.
Whether it’s luck or fault or fate matters not.
The crutches are real.
But I am a prima ballerina,
and I am resolved,
even with these damned crutches,
to carry myself with grace.
Some odd divine intent prevails.
I am still a saint; so I am resolved
to live with a shred of kindness showing.
In my corner of the world,
even if this is all in my head,
that’s a noble calling,
and, when I can pull it off,
God being in it,
something of a miracle.
“‘I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile” (Jeremiah 29:14).
💞
I know the word story carries with it so many emotions, so much heaviness, but relief, too. I know in your head you want words and memories to make sense. You want things to line up, and it is tough to not have answers, to not be able to explain the reason behind this happening, the cause of this event.
What if you knew more than you did? What if you could give an answer to the whys of your heart? What if you didn’t have to struggle with weakness, with inadequacy, on your own? Can you imagine where that would lead you?
Do you trust how I protect your heart?
I protect you, and I push you on, too. I lead you, but it is your choice whether or not to follow. I give you vision, just enough, to see where I am and know where I go, with you. One foot in front of the other. Why do you need to know more? Do you? Do you need to know more to believe Me more? Do you need to see more to know I am here, whispering to you, loving you, guiding you?
My daughter, you are not alone.
My daughter, you have what it takes, my creation, my dear one, to follow Me.
My daughter, you are the only one of you I’ve made. There is just one. Only one, my dear. You are my crafted jewel, my sparkling flower, my glistening water as it falls from heaven.
You delight Me, child.
Please don’t look away, believe this is too good to be true. You feel that way to Me, you know. . . too good to be true. You are radiant and captivating and you need only stand with Me, watching where I beckon you, knowing I am the sure place for your legs to stand.
So, rest now. And then rise up. When you believe, a little more, choosing these words, my love for you, as true, you are on your way to a deeper place I have for you.
I have so much more for you, child.
💞
Loop
I came to the end of the sidewalk
I was wondering which way I should go
There were gates for each road all around me
The signs up above were all flashing to show…
…this way
and that way
right way
wrong way
There was your way
and my way
and his way
and her way
I stood at the end of the end of the sidewalk
It was all so confusing you know
Which gate was the one I should enter?
Which road was the one to lead me back home?
Cause there was
high way
and by way
low way
and long way
There was which way
and what way
there was fast way
and slow way
there was dream way
and scream way
There was wander way
and squander way
One sign read short way
one even read no way
there was one reading far away
all the way to the milky way
Then I saw a small sign near the bottom
It wasn’t flashing or bright
But this sign it caught my attention
Cause this sign in the shape of an arrow
sat pointing toward a dirt road marked LIFE…
Now this road it had a small entrance
Not many had gone through before
The gate was all rusted and creaky
Had to knock just to open that door…
It was dark and a little bit lonely
There was just a small lamp for to see
It took me awhile to adjust to the style
For this road was far greater than me
For it’s Your way
not my way
It’s a new way
Walking life way
The longer I walked, I saw better
Though it never got easier to see,
But this road lead right where I followed
cause Life was the journey, you see…
💞
Amy Lloyd
Diamond Road…Sheyl Crow
Walk with me the diamond road
Tell me every story told
Give me something of your soul
That I can hold onto
I want to wake up to the sound of waves
Crashing on a brand new day
Keep the memory of your face
But wipe the pain away
When you¹re lonely (you¹re not alone)
When you¹re heart aches (on Diamond Road)
It’s gonna take a little time
Yeah, it’s gonna take a little time
When the night falls (you’re not alone)
When you’re stumbling (on Diamond Road)
It’s gonna take a little time
To make it to the other side
So don’t miss the diamonds along the way
Every road has led us here today
Little bird, what’s troubling you
You know what you have to do
What is yours you’ll never lose
And what’s ahead may shine
Beneath the promise of blue skies
With broken wings we’ll learn to fly
Pull yourself out of the tide
And begin the dream again
When you¹re lonely (you¹re not alone)
When you¹re heart aches (on Diamond Road)
It’s gonna take a little time
Yeah, it’s gonna take a little time
When the night falls (you’re not alone)
When you’re stumbling (on Diamond Road)
It’s gonna take a little time
To make it to the other side
So don’t miss the diamonds along the way
So don’t miss the diamonds along the way
Every road has led us here today
Won’t you shine on
Morning light
Burn the darkness away
Walk with me the Diamond Road
Tell me everything is gold
Give me something of your soul
So you don¹t fade away
When you¹re lonely (you¹re not alone)
When you¹re heart aches (on Diamond Road)
It’s gonna take a little time
Yeah, it’s gonna take a little time
When the night falls (you’re not alone)
When you’re stumbling (on Diamond Road)
It’s gonna take a little time
To make it to the other side
So don’t miss the diamonds along the way
Don’t miss the diamonds along the way
Every road has led us here today
Life is what happens while you¹re making plans
All that you need is right here in your hands.
13 “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.
shifting easily moment to moment just like the tricky brain of the dementia patient
spaces of love held in careful prayer
music and forgiveness flow
full of light
cleaning the stagnant air
I have no control here in this radical space between worlds
angels fly around through the night
the reaper waits patiently in his corner
time slips freely through open hearts
gentle hands cup liquid grace
coaxing a smile here and there
the terrible beauty of death sits on gaunt faces
as a wavering query spills from dry lips,
Is this crossing over?
we, in a circle of three, agree that the crossing is near
rest now
it is well
it is well
💞
Amy Lloyd
The Wisdom of Death
Many years ago,
Around the autumn of my thirty-seventh year,
A woman , with wisdom written on her brow, woven into her long gray braid ,
came into my life, who would say these words
And a few more, for a short two years.
Her words would weave sorrow into joy,
She would help me see, feel and hear
What adoration was bound up in my deep pain
My body torn open and broken for God.
That by expressing the wound the healing would be born into Light.
“ Place me like a seal over your heart,
Like a seal on your arm;
For love is as strong as death,
It’s jealously unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire,
Like a mighty flame.”
Song of Songs 8: 6
Her tongue was a cool burn
Through a steamy fog;
Her eyes deep blue
Taking the world in
Breathing holy flames that little dogs and chattering squirrels felt;
They quieted, to bow.
Her right arm, linked into my sweater as we walked through the park;
And it didn’t matter, if rain, or the wind of the Spirit God broke off orange and red leaves from the highest trees and threw them down onto grieving, gasping hearts
As perhaps for a second or three, the colors would transform into maybe a miracle or two;
For we were serving the angels
And leaning into the impossible abyss of death.
Facing scandals and refusing to pardon the emptiness that shatters the illusions,
Until there is deep rest…
Peace that passes all understanding,
Bearing witness to the beauty of the skies,
Reckoning with how small a casket can really get.
“ Many waters cannot quench love;
Rivers cannot sweep it away…”
And God holds all of the children
Whether man, woman or child
In a healing pool
Until the day when God captures the heart.
For the woman, who was carrying for this soul,
Had known of such deaths in her years on the earth,
“Yet a little while and the world will see me no more, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live” (John 14:19).
My daughter, look now. Look at Me. Raise your head again.
I come for you.
What do you want to ask Me? Can I tell you the desire of your heart? I know you tire of staying in the same place. I know you are tired of looking at this world—but oh, how I love it.
Can I tell you how much I love this world?
I love each bit of it. The cracks in the sidewalk, the pebbles mixed in desert sand. This is the landscape through which I walk. I walk where I want you to see. I walk through villages and down crowded streets. I sit at wells and wait and I walk up mountains and sit on hills next to quiet seas.
I see beneath the facades, the walls my children build. I enter in with permission, and I long to make my home. I keep walking and knocking and waiting and listening. I know my home. I know my Father. I am Spirit who moves in you and wants to stay. And when you let Me in, and I stay, I remove the walls. I let you see beyond this world to what exists in it to save it.
I have come to save the world, and there are children who still do not know. They don’t know there is a dream beyond food for their stomachs and a place to lay their head when they tire.
I am Home without walls.
I am Home so you can rest here and see more of the things I see. Someday you will understand. You will see more. I give you glimpses, and I let your heart imagine the possibilities of true freedom, true love, true joy, true rescue. Oh, the day I come again! But you don’t have to wait to receive my Spirit. And when you receive it, I equip you to paint the landscape anew for children who don’t yet know Me in their hearts.
Oh, daughter, I love the world.
I love these children. I love you. I come to rescue. I come to save. I come to love. I come to liberate children who are trapped and see no way of escape.
I come.
Open your heart.
I come.
Look in my eyes.
I come.
I am all you need, and I go ahead.
Let me give you new eyes, a new heart—fresh courage and faith so my loved ones, the world,who don’t yet see Me can see Me in you.
Yes, let them see Me in you.
And I will come to them, and they will know they are rescued and not forgotten, too.
life: acoustic & amplified 