one step
The wasps outside
the kitchen window
are making that
thick, unraveling sound again,
floating in and out
of the bald head of their nest,
seeming not to move
while moving,
and it has just occurred to me,
standing, washing the coffeepot,
watching them hang
loosely in the air—
thin wings;
thick, elongated abdomens;
sad, down- pointing antennae—
that this is the heart’s constant project:
this simple learning;
learning how to hold
hopelessness and hope together;
to see on the unharmed surface of one
the great scar of the other;
to recognize both
and to make something of both;
to desire everything and nothing
at once
and to desire it all the time;
and to contain that desire fleshly,
in a body; to wash it and rest it
and feed it;
to learn its name and from whence it came;
and to speak to it—oh,
most of all to speak to it—
every day, every day,
saying to one part,
“Well, maybe this is all you get,”
while saying to the other,
“Go on,
break it open, let it go.”
💞
Want by Carrie Fountain
Have you sat with grief?
Have you let it wring you dry?
Leave you swollen and exhausted
in it’s wake?
Allowed the pain from the inner depths of hell,
deeper than you knew existed,
to ooze out,
bubble up into your heart,
so that your tears could begin
to wash you clean?
Have you asked yourself
the questions with no answers?
then allow them to just co-exist with you,
allowing that life is good,
finding space for gratitude
even in the unanswerable?
Have you walked, and talked,
with death and your losses?
The innocence murdered
by anger and hate?
Precious time stolen
by monsters and ogres?
Hearts trampled
by words of violence and sarcasm?
Are you familiar with vulnerability?
With allowing your deepest feelings,
painful feelings,
raw feeling,
real feelings,
to come out of the grave
where you try to hide them?
Exposing your wounds,
old and new?
I know how hard it is,
I know.
I try to avoid it too.
I also know the truth.
It must be done.
It is the broken road to healing.
To life!
The more we feel,
the more we can feel.
Go deep, my friend
Open up wide.
Sit a spell and let it bubble.
Feel it all.
It will feel rotten for a while,
then comes the morning
you wake up good as new!
New and improved.
I promise you won’t regret it.
Just trust me on this one.
I am intimately familiar
with this process.
💔
AL
😘
photos found at http://www.pinterest.com
life: acoustic & amplified 