life: acoustic & amplified

poetry, quotes & thoughts about life

Archive for the category “Faith”

new adventures



As the dark clouds roll in, and all hope disappears from sight, and the bright sun goes away, leaving every heart filled with fright. And all hope and virtue disappears from sight, making even the kindest things seem filled with blight; and the cold rain pouring down, cutting through us through the night. In desperation searching; nothing to find it seems though we might, continue pushing though nothing we do is right.

 

Drenched and sore and bleeding, empty and broken and pleading, without hope and desperately needing, some comfort though none forthcoming; the brightest day as turned to night. Our sight foreshadowed in darkness, that fog thick and endless around us, concealing the path before us, the level ground a seeming endless height!

 

That slippery slope before us, though level seeming to those around us, daunting as we feel it; we trip and stumble underneath it, that hidden weight we carry it, translucent and transparent, and yet to our soul we feel it. Sliding down that hillside, level, falling to the bottom, under that angry sky we’re filled with, nothing but empty gripe.

 

Stumbling and aching, slowly we come to standing, the ground underneath us turning, ever always turning, as if the world is shaking; for inside us the world is shaking, ever inside us quaking, sleeping even while waking; twilight seems closest to what is bright.

 

Ever inside us knowing, our fate for us, are future sowing, a future not worth knowing; for ever inside us searching, for a hope now lost from sight.

 

Then that flash and clap does shake us, the resounding sound does wake us; the bright and brilliant flash does wake us, incandescent and brilliant white! And our eyes do open wide, though blurry to the sight, of that beam shine through the sky, cutting as though a knife, through cloud and shadow and shame, and only the light remains!

 

Then the calm and gentle breeze, the warm and kindest breeze; touches us as we freeze, to the spot we find us standing, and for a moment remaining, for a new breath grasping; and we find us speaking “light don’t leave me, please!”


The Storm by Matthew Mele








Yesterday was the beginning of a new adventure. I will be hosting and producing a public access tv show named Artitude. Yesterday I sat down with three amazing, courageous friends to share our stories on camera. George Manuka, pastor of Dunbar United Church of Christ in Hamden, CT. He is also my pastor. Linda Bonadies, composer, song writer extraordinaire. Linda has written a one woman show based on her story, called Give it all Away. I recently saw it in NYC. I am so inspired by her courage and talent. We are writing songs together for the show. Matthew Mele (above poem) is Poet in Residence. Matthew teaches martial arts, he has an incredible story, great poetic ability and a unique gift of perspective. I am so excited to have him share and explore these on this show. 

I am feeling very grateful, a bit overwhelmed, excited, afraid I can’t do it, challenged in every area, ideas are bouncing around in my head, the things I don’t know feel like a hovering mountain to climb. 

I feel the importance of this project. I feel the largeness of this opportunity. I feel the responsibility which comes with sharing my voice. 

Artitude will be about the arts, sharing stories, connections, how we build stronger communities and heal our lives. Here is the 60 word explanation of the show premise:

 Everyone is an artist. Our lives are our masterpiece.

We each hold the power to choose, to create, to change our personal stories. 
Art touches the deepest longings of our hearts. Things like poetry, fiction, film, theater, drama, dance, music, friendship and conversation awaken us to our own possibilities. They inspire us to become all we can be. 
This is Artitude. 
Please pray for me as I step into this calling. Thank you!

More to come…

photo source tracks found at

in the coldest times

Sometimes you have to take your own hand

as though you were a lost child
and bring yourself stumbling
home over twisted ice.

Whiteness drifts over your house.
A page of warm light
falls steady from the open door.

Here is your bed, folded open.
Lie down, lie down, let the blue snow cover you.

Grief by Louise Erdrich














photos by Fisherman Dan @ Branford, CT

http://youtu.be/o6rwMRE3NKg





Sōetsu Yanagi, founder of Japan’s modern craft movement, defines beauty as that which gives unlimited scope to the imagination; beauty is a source of imagination, he says, that never dries up. A thing so attractive and absorbing may not be pretty or pleasant. It could be ugly, in fact, and yet seize the soul as beautiful in a special sense…luring the heart into profound and endless imagination. 

     – Thomas Moore (edited)




smudged 

                                                                                                                                                                                                 Who needs boundaries?
If your eyes fail to imagine
where the earth ends and the sky
begins, think of a place bereft
of lines:  the blue depths of a stream
flowing like hair that will never
be combed.  Deep indigo of nothing
but fluid memory ebbing around
blossoms of white asters.  “I remember            
how flowers feel when you barely
touch them,” says the water.  Like leaving
one world and embracing another:
seeds bursting into wildflowers,
clouds changing into rain,
the image of our borders
a mere outline the soul ignores.

Eliminating the Horizon by Linda Nemec Foster











http://youtu.be/IctD9l4F-ag

what am I to do?

Deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me.

                  —Mark 8.34

God of love, be in me
to embody your gentleness and grace,
to love at my own cost,
to enter the suffering of the world,
to hold the wounded in my heart,
to bear the monstrous without explanation,
to absorb the pain without retaliation,
to let there be a hell on earth
without another,
to trust that even the greatest evil
cannot drive you out,
and that love and forgiveness alone
will change the world.
Grant me faith to be willing 
to be overwhelmed
and raised again.
I do not ask for heroic strength
but for you
to bear the cross in me,
that by your Spirit in me
I may be Christ,
crucified,
and risen,
no longer small,
no longer threatened,
no longer afraid.

__________________  
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light

www.unfoldinglight.net











stay open…stay soft…the hard world needs it

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A significant decision.

Put off until a tomorrow
that might never appear.

And a knowing deep
in tired bones.

Of what he, she,
I must do.

Along with its pain,
consequence and
inexplicable relief.

Nic Askew

Home

Now is the time to let your grief find expression. No false strength. Now is the time to sit quietly and speak to the person gone, and thank them for being with you these few moments, and encourage them to go on with whatever their work is, knowing that you will grow in compassion and wisdom from this experience. In my heart, I know that we will meet again and again, and recognize the many ways in which we have known each other. And when we meet we will know, in a flash, what now it is not given for us to know: Why this had to be the way it was.
Our rational minds can never understand what has happened, but our hearts – if we can keep them open to God – will find their own intuitive way.
– Ram Dass

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photo source tracks found at

giving it all

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there is no cage
love must be stepped into
freely.

there is no withholding
love gives it all away.

there is no have to’s
love must be given and received willingly.

there is no selfish motive
love always wants the highest and best for the other person.

there are no ‘no’s’
love always says yes.

there are no demands
love allows the other person to decide.

love takes commitment.

it is not an easy job,
both parties –
equal –
understanding the gift –
100 percent in.

you must choose what you want,
knowing the consequences of your choices.

Just know, for sure,
love will always set you free.

there is no fear in love.

ACL 2/22/15

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Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose without any insistence that they satisfy you.
– Wayne Dyer

We are not transmitting or receiving love as we were divinely intended to—we are filtering love rather than feeling it. We fell for the prevailing hysteria that said, “Protect your heart,” and we began to believe that love itself had enemies and needed protecting. When we were hurt, we felt that love was somehow diminished or damaged. But hurt has nothing to do with love, and love is unaffiliated with and unaffected by pain. Ego was hurt, not love. Love is divine; it is everywhere, ever present and abundant and free. It is a spiritual energy that is, at this very moment, flowing through the universe—through us, through our enemies, through our families, through billions of souls. It was never absent from our lives. It is not bound in our hearts or in our relationships, and thus it is not capable of being owned or lost. We have allowed our awareness of love to diminish; that is all. In doing so, we have caused our own suffering. We must mature and realize that freeing our mind of ancient hurts and opening once more to love shall give us access to divine strength. To stand emotionally open before the world and give of our hearts without fear of hurt or demand of reciprocity—this is the ultimate act of human courage. For this, we now declare: WE SHALL AMPLIFY LOVE.
Brendon Burchard
Declaration 7 from http://MotivationManifesto.com/
💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞
The light of the desert reaches down
into the crevices of the rocks,
can tell stone from shadow.

Holy One,
may I see myself with the eyes of love,
see clearly what in me is love
and what is not love.

Heal my fear,
forgive me wholly,
and hearten me
to choose well,
to step wisely.
_________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
http://www.unfoldinglight.net

photo source tracks found at

The unfolding of the bare human soul … that is what interests me. Bruce Lee

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I sit with the ghost of ashes
on my forehead,
still raw and sore,
feeling the sting and exhaustion
that comes from vulnerability
in the face of possible rejection.
I feel unworthy,
even as I know I don’t need to.
I felt under dressed –
one of my hardest, most shame-filled, pettiest horrors in life.
I felt judged as less than,
even though I do not know for sure I was.
I feel broken,
crushed,
I sit in the ash heap of my past
reflected in the story I have to tell.
my truth –
it’s so ugly,
so jagged,
how can it ever be redeemed?
how can I possibly be arrogant enough to think that God will use me,
restore my life,
even bless me?

Because He already has.
Because the truth is, he is making beauty right in these ashes,
even this very moment.
If I have ever believed that for sure –
then this is the time to truly believe it.
No matter the judgement of anyone.
No matter the temptation which these feelings bring – yes, this is the wicked temptation –
to tempt me to feel
unworthy,
less than,
like I don’t belong,
like I can’t make new choices,
like my clothes matter more than my soul,
so I turn away and give up.
So I do not risk this feeling
by just not sharing my story.
So I forget, or ignore, the multitudes of miracles.
So I just take my life in my own hands and make something happen for myself, without God.
As I am tempted to do each moment.

I want to heap the ashes on my head,
sit in them,
rip my already hole-y sweat pants even more.
I want to wail –
instead of this civilized way of crying with tissues catching my overactive sinus production.
I want to run far away and have someone tell me I’m pretty,
I’m a victim,
Life’s unfair.

Yes, I am tasting ashes for lent.
Today, I am very aware of my inefficiencies.
I bow with humility.
I bow in gratitude.
I have nothing
Yet!
(there is hope!!!)
I am beloved!
thank God,
Easter is coming!!

AL 3/6/14

20 things you might consider giving up this Lent. And these are things to give up not just for Lent, but for the rest of your life.

• Guilt – I am loved by Jesus and he has forgiven my sins. Today is a new day and the past is behind.
• Fear – God is on my side. In him I am more than a conqueror. (see Romans 8)
• The need to please everyone – I can’t please everyone anyways. There is only one I need to strive to please.
• Envy – I am blessed. My value is not found in my possessions, but in my relationship with my Heavenly Father.
• Impatience – God’s timing is the perfect timing.
• Sense of entitlement – The world does not owe me anything. God does not owe me anything. I live in humility and grace.
• Bitterness and Resentment – The only person I am hurting by holding on to these is myself.
• Blame – I am not going to pass the buck. I will take responsibility for my actions.
• Gossip and Negativity – I will put the best construction on everything when it comes to other people. I will also minimize my contact with people who are negative and toxic bringing other people down.
• Comparison – I have my own unique contribution to make and there is no one else like me.
• Fear of failure – You don’t succeed without experiencing failure. Just make sure you fail forward.
• A spirit of poverty – Believe with God that there is always more than enough and never a lack
• Feelings of unworthiness – You are fearfully and wonderfully made by your creator. (see Psalm 139)
• Doubt – Believe God has a plan for you that is beyond anything you could imagine. The future is brighter than you could ever realize.
• Self-pity – God comforts us in our sorrow so that we can comfort others with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.
• Retirement – As long as you are still breathing, you are here for a reason. You have a purpose to influence others for Christ. That does not come to an end until the day we die.
• Excuses – A wise man once said, if you need an excuse, any excuse will do.
• Lack of counsel – Wise decisions are rarely made in a vacuum.
• Pride – Blessed are the humble.
• Worry – God is in control and worrying will not help.
God has so much more in store for you. But so many of these things above are holding you back from walking in the full destiny he has laid out for you. Today is a new day.

So there you have it. What else might you add to the list?

God’s blessings,
Pastor Phil
http://gs4nj.org/20-things-to-give-up-for-lent/

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boundary lines and hard lessons

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Shrive: to hear a confession;
to impose penance; to grant absolution.

Shrove Tuesday, our fifth snowstorm
in as many weeks.
In three feet of snow,
plowed shoulder deep beside the roads,
along the driveways,
we confess that we are human,
that we are weary,
the streets lined with quadriplegic cars,
that we are small, dependent, fragile.
The knife wind comes down on us
where we are tender.
We confess our bondage
to the narrow paths we’ve dug,
and keep digging.
Winter swallows our voices, erases speech;
our chanting shovels confess
we are not masters.
The silver sun hears us,
assures us straightening between shovelfuls
that we are not evil,
merely afraid,
and notes how much of our snow
is now in our neighbor’s driveway.
The strangeness so oddly transforming our streets,
the need, the hardship
tempt us inward, swirling winds,
but beckon us to reconcile, to accept,
to bond, to help.
We shovel toward each other.
The crow and the fox
who also shiver bear our absolution:
we too belong, and carry out penance
for being human
in labor and toil.
Shriven under mounds of baptismal white,
we are not judged.
This is not punishment,
just life,
that we must shovel.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
http://www.unfoldinglight.net

photo source tracks found at

dance with me

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Can I show you where we can go together? Can I dance with you, grab hold of your hand, my fingers clasped around your palm? You are graceful when you dance with me. You are free, your steps light and sure. You plant each foot firmly into soil. You know this ground, this earth. The floor is level and you respond, fully, to my subtle hints at what will be the next move to make.

You trust Me. You know Me. You want to be with Me. You know who you are and your burden is light and your smile is radiant and your eyes shine.

You are home.

You are home.

Loop
http://www.gatherministries.com

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photo source tracks found at

love is for the strong

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We, unaccustomed to courage
exiles from delight
live coiled in shells of loneliness
until love leaves its high holy temple
and comes into our sight
to liberate us into life.

Love arrives
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.
Yet if we are bold,
love strikes away the chains of fear
from our souls.

We are weaned from our timidity
In the flush of love’s light
we dare be brave
And suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet it is only love
which sets us free.

Love’s Exquisite Freedom by Maya Angelou

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Not a red rose or a satin heart.

I give you an onion.
It is a moon wrapped in brown paper.
It promises light
like the careful undressing of love.

Here.
It will blind you with tears
like a lover.
It will make your reflection
a wobbling photo of grief.

I am trying to be truthful.

Not a cute card or a kissogram.

I give you an onion.
Its fierce kiss will stay on your lips,
possessive and faithful
as we are,
for as long as we are.

Take it.
Its platinum loops shrink to a wedding-ring,
if you like.
Lethal.
Its scent will cling to your fingers,
cling to your knife.

Valentine by Carol Ann Duffy

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Stop trying to change someone who doesn’t want to change. Stop giving chances to someone who abuses your forgiveness. Stop walking back to the place where your heart ran from. Stop trusting their words and ignoring their actions. Stop breaking your own HEART. — Unknown

photo source tracks found at

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