be strong & be courageous
I am heavy
Stepping with sand bag feet
Slow
Hello life
In this dark day
I look for beauty
It’s always there
I wonder if I would have jumped or gone back to die
If I had really known how hard it would be
On and on
Do I really believe it will ever get better?
No answer comes
I move away from the question
I made my choice
I go curl up
In the Legacy Garden
On the round plaque with Wendell Berry’s words of understanding
I part the out thrusting branches
And come in beneath the blessed and the blessing trees.
Though I am silent
There is singing around me.
Though I am dark
There is vision around me.
Though I am heavy
There is flight around me.
– Wendell Berry
Underneath the gondola’s painted ever-green leaves –
I wish there was a raven
Who cares if people see me?
🌑
AL – 12/3/12
I fell down,
Broken
Down beneath the curtain of a world that wasn’t mine
I fell down,
Hurting
Down under the pressure of a life I couldn’t find
Watching
Others
There were times that I felt nothing but the pain of being me
Watching
Wondering
Why and how and when would I be able to be free
I tried
Hiding
Nothing kept the darkness from surrounding me with grief
I tried
Crying
But nothing kept the demons that were haunting me
The fear
The aching
The desperation etched upon my heart in every beat
The scars
Appearing
Like a chain around my soul, stealing all I used to be
I sought comfort
I sought courage
I sought loving in the hands of those that only caused me pain
I sought refuge
I sought freedom
I sought counsel in the places that left me filled with guilt and shame
I fell down,
Broken
Down beneath the curtain of a world that wasn’t mine
I fell down,
Hurting
Down under the pressure of a life I couldn’t find
Then it came
The flicker
Of hope and understanding that I could be alive again
Then it came
A glimmer
The ember of the flame inside my heart began to shine
Watching
Others
I looked inside their minds and saw that I was not the only one
Watching
Wondering
How I could share the message that all of us are one
I tried
Learning
Taking all the knowledge that the world gave unto me
I tried
Doing
And realized the healing came from giving all I had to give
The love
Replaced fear
My heart beats now for others and keeps me going on and on
The scars
On show now
Proving that with courage our soul can set us free
I give comfort
I give courage
I give loving to the ones of those that are only feeling pain
I give refuge
I give freedom
I give counsel to those needing me with kindness, without blame
I fell down
Humble
Down to show my gratitude for living life this way
I fell down
Thankful
Vowing to show others life is better every day
💔🔥❤️
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© ALEXANDRA GOLD – Author of ‘A Woman On Purpose’ (Become Financially Free, Spiritually Full & Confidently Unstoppable) #1 Amazon Bestseller, Speaker, Spiritual Teacher and Inspirational Thought Leader.
Our world is abundant – we know that – we feel that – it is time to live that!
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Much love and many blessings,
Alexandra Gold
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A remembering
December 3, 2012
a lifetime from then to now
Hello Life
echoing in the chambers
of empty shattered walls
of broken will
and weary traveling
worn and scarred
soldier of God
warrior of the light
no longer even able
to pretend to carry the cross
just laying on it
too tired to fight
with arms willingly outstretched
scorched and branded
by Your glory
carried into the ocean
of Your love
within the arc
of silence
knowing I am
undone
by ruthless grace
my life is Yours
and now I wait
for You
to part the waters
like only You can do
I burned to ash
completely consumed
now I rise
the flame
alive
🔥
AL
Beneath the shouting,
quieter and more steady,
listen for my voice.
Be still, and listen.
You are doing a difficult thing.
And I am with you.
I have gathered up your life,
your triumphs and failures,
your powers and your weaknesses,
and I hold it all in grace.
You have died,
and your life is hidden in me now.
I bear your grief,
the river of it flows through me,
and I am the spring it comes from.
When you are alone I am the body
that weaves you with everyone.
When you are discouraged
I bind your hope to you.
When you are weary
I am your strength and breath,
the life that carries you.
When the road is rough and long
I go onward,
and bear you in my love and wisdom.
Keep your mind on this.
Forget the little things.
Remember my presence.
Forget whatever you can cling to.
Remember I hold you.
Never mind the demons and discouragements.
You are in me
and it is I who walk through this world
with you hidden deep within me.
__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
life: acoustic & amplified 