They themselves sit and rest, in the sun, in the shade, in the rain, in the snow, at three in the morning…
there to welcome whoever might pass by.
And for what purpose?
To give a soul a moment to rest, to look out, to think, to plan something, or to get over something.
And in their most special times, most special for these benches, are when two people meet and share themselves. Communicate and think more completely than they could or would if they were still walking.
Then after minutes or hours the people rise.
They are different forever because of those minutes, or hours.
Different in very minor ways most times I’m sure.
And at other times, profoundly changed.
They look back and the bench seems physically unchanged, but we know otherwise.
A person was there, moments after measurable warmth remains,
albeit slowly spreading out to be no longer measurable.
The world is different.
Relationships,
interconnections,
changes in perspective.
A reaffrimation of love in the broadest sense.
That maybe god did not make man in his image. That maybe man arrogantly makes god in his image.
God did not make only man,
and I don’t think everything else was made for only for man’s purpose.
Maybe what we find so beautiful and comforting is that nature,
the cosmos,
god,
free will,
the opportunities to do good or ignore other’s needs,
the choices to try and give more than we take,
or take all we can,
the always present capability to pursue happiness…
are all here as are we,
with a purpose we will always look for,
and never completely find,
and all of it as part of a whole incomprehensible to us.
Such joy possible just knowing we are so fortunate to be part of it.
God has no limits, none whatsoever.
On a bench,
realizing we are part of it all,
and always will be,
and sharing
that there is no necessity to understand it all.
“A river never passes the same place twice,” says a philosopher. “Life is like a river,” says another philosopher, and we draw the conclusion that this is the metaphor that comes closest to the meaning of life. Consequently, it is always good to remember::
A] We are always doing things for the first time.While we move between our source (birth) to our destination (death), the landscape will always be new. We should face these novelties with joy, not with fear – because it is useless to fear what cannot be avoided. A river never stops running.
B] In a valley we walk slower. When everything around us becomes easier, the waters grow calm, we become more open, fuller and more generous.
C] Our banks are always fertile. Vegetation only grows where there is water. Whoever comes into contact with us needs to understand that we are there to give the thirsty something to drink.
D] Stones should be avoided. It is obvious that water is stronger than granite, but it takes time for this to happen. It is no good letting yourself be overcome by stronger obstacles, or trying to fight against them – that is a useless waste of energy. It is best to understand where the way out is, and then move forward.
E] Hollows call for patience. All of a sudden the river enters a sort of hole and stops running as joyfully as before. At such moments the only way out is to count on the help of time. When the right moment comes the hollow fills up and the water can flow ahead. In the place of the ugly, lifeless hole there now stands a lake that others can contemplate with joy.
F] We are one. We were born in a place that was meant for us, which will always keep us supplied with enough water so that when confronted with obstacles or depression we have the necessary patience or strength to move forward. We begin our course in a soft and fragile manner, where even a simple leaf can stop us. Nevertheless, as we respect the mystery of the source that gave us life, and trust in His eternal wisdom, little by little we gain all that we need to pursue our path.
G] Although we are one, soon we shall be many. As we travel on, the waters of other springs come closer, because that is the best path to follow. Then we are no longer just one, but many – and there comes a moment when we feel lost. However, as the Bible says, “all rivers flow to the sea.” It is impossible to remain in our solitude, no matter how romantic that may seem. When we accept the inevitable encounter with other springs, we eventually understand that this makes us much stronger, we get around obstacles or fill in the hollows in far less time and with greater ease.
H] We are a means of transportation. Of leaves, boats, ideas. May our waters always be generous, may be always be able to carry ahead everything or everyone that needs our help.
I] We are a source of inspiration. And so, let us leave the final words to the Brazilian poet, Manuel Bandeira:
“To be like a river that flows silent through the night, not fearing the darkness and reflecting any stars high in the sky.
And if the sky is filled with clouds, the clouds are water like the river, so without remorse reflect them too”
In 2008 God took me to live up near Boston – some people may think it was for other reasons, but I know the truth. It was one of the most amazing times in my life and it set me up for these years that have followed. Sooo many adventures to talk about, but today I need to talk about Brian Stack.
The first place I ended up is a little town called Woburn, MA (pronounced by natives: woo-burn) it has one of the coolest libraries ever built http://www.woburnpubliclibrary.org/ a gas station that looks like the Taj Mahal (the original builder was planning to franchise these, but unfortunately, they didn’t take off! Darn it! He only built 2), it was the city in which the movie, A Civil Action, was taken from (I worked very close to that dump site for about 6 months) and Horn Pond, where our adventure story for today, takes place!
Anyway, there is so much to tell you about and so many fun things to add in to this story, but my time is short today and so I must stick to my main agenda. To introduce you to Brian Stack.
Everywhere I go I look for ‘spots’ beautiful places in nature, with a bench or rock near by for sitting and talking with God. I have ‘spots’ all over Connecticut, MA, several towns in Florida, in Kentucky, and in Ohio. They are holy and special to me. God meets me there. We sit a spell and talk about things.
It was maybe a day or so after I got to MA that I inquired about a nature spot and someone told me about Horn Pond and I headed over there as soon as I could to find it. It was amazing and beautiful! Everything I was looking for in a ‘spot’ and I was within walking distance!!! I had no car, so that was a huge blessing.
I think it was my first trip around the loop, I met Brian Stack. (If I am on a bench, and there is a plaque, I always read it and say a prayer for the family of whoever has loved so much they want their love to live on by dedicating a tree, or a bench, a building, for someone else to enjoy. It is a beautiful expression of love and caring. I love it and I acknowledge it with gratitude and prayer.)
As I sat down in a really beautiful spot I read the plaque, and fell in love. I fell in love with Brian, and I fell in love with his family. I had no idea who he was, but this was a special and blessed place and I knew this was my ‘spot’, along with Brian’s. I could feel the spirit of Brian and of God very close. This was holy.
I went to this spot as often as I could. I took other people there, I had picnics there, I had one lone swan who would come and sit by me very often when I would go there – we hung out a lot. I told a few of my close friends about Brian Stack. I had no idea of who he was, but I knew he was special. The more I hung out there the more I knew it.
In May of 2008, I went to a Women of Faith conference in the TD Banknorth Center, where the Celtics play (the name could be different now), at that conference, which was so amazing – the girl next to me (complete stranger) turned to me about half way through the day and said, ‘God told me to tell you that you are made whole from the inside out.’ I had been feeling this, but to have it confirmed in this way was wonderful, and my spirit soared.
The next day was Sunday, May 11 – the day 12 years earlier when my life exploded. I felt called to Brain’s bench. After church walked over to this amazing spot. I felt sure I was expecting something, or someone, I wasn’t sure what or who.
As I say there people kept walking by and I kept turning my head to my left to look for someone. I was only seeing backs. I noticed it was always the back of the person, and I heard the voice of God say in my spirit, ‘the past is behind you.’ I knew that was my gift, my message from God. I sat and wept and praised God, that He had healed me and brought me to this place in my journey.
This past Sunday, I just ‘happened’ to be in Woburn, MA and I felt the same calling to go to visit Brian Stack. It was very important that I go. I felt a real urgency to go to this spot. As I walked up I couldn’t believe it. There was a picture taped to the bench with duct tape, and, for the first time, I met Brian Stack!!! I sat and talked to him and God for a few minutes and said ‘thank you’ for this amazing gift.
I left straight from there to drive for the next 20 hours to Ohio! I didn’t think I would ever get here!!! I took a shower and went straight to work, and when I had a moment I looked up Brian Stack from Woburn, MA. Here is the headline from 1987: A funeral Mass was said yesterday morning in St. Barbar’s Church, Woburn for Brian C. Stack, 17, of Woburn, who died Wednesday at Children’s Hospital in Boston after a heart operation.
But, the story didn’t end there, because love is eternal and, we are His Beloved! God had a plan for Brian Stack that nobody could have guessed. They hang out together at a gorgeous spot at Horn Pond and they talk to people, and encourage them – the ones who are listening. I am so very blessed.
Last week they found the Higgs boson! For all you non-calculator-carrying mystical meditating un-geek poetry-reading hippie types, this is a really big deal.
When scientists came up with the math that explains how the physical universe holds together, they had a perfect equation, except for one thing. It explained a universe in which nothing had any mass—there was no substance. In order for things to have mass, there had to be one more factor, that they called the Higgs field, named for the guy who did the math. It’s a dimension of the physical universe that gives things mass when they interact with it. If it’s there, the math says, then there should be a tiny particle, called the Higgs boson. If they found that particle, it would prove almost everything. Trouble is, for 48 years, since it was predicted in 1964, nobody’s been able to find it. It’s been humorously called the “God particle”—not by scientists, but the popular media. In fact some scientists have suggested calling it—pardon the scientific jargon here—the Goddamn particle, for its elusiveness and the trouble and expense it has caused among those trying to find it. Until last week.
(Higgs Boson walks into a Catholic church. Priest says, “How dare you call yourself the God particle! Blasphemer! Get out!” Higgs Boson says: “Well, OK—but without me, you can’t have mass!”)
One thing I love about this whole thing is the “faith in something not seen” they had. Another is the sense of wonder. And another is the Higgs field. Present in all the universe, it gives things mass when they interact with it. Isn’t that sort of like God? God is present in all the universe, and when you interact with God, you are given substance. Nothing else gives you substance, not what happens to you, not what you do, not what others think of you. It’s God’s interaction with you. You aren’t responsible for the substance of your existence: it’s a gift from God. In a way youare a God particle, a tiny manifestation of the holy mystery that holds everything together.
So celebrate with the particle physicists. Like the Higgs boson, it turns out you’re more than just a figment of the world’s imagination. You’re proof of the existence of God.
Love ALWAYS wants us to be our highest and best self. Love does not seek to control any part of us, but watches with delight when we find our truth.
When we fly, love soars in response, laughs in delight and gives us encouragement to go higher still.
Love does not ask us to be less than all God created us to be, or not express ourselves, or to bear abuse. That is not love at all – do not believe it if someone offers you ‘love’ that ‘costs’ you in these painful ways.
True love is not about need, but about joy – as it flows from you and to you it fills the air, and your soul, with light! True love allows us to give the same love in return and so it grows and we grow.
Real love is about letting go of expectation and delighting in the unexpected and the imperfection of ourselves. This kind of love is about being free, to create, to be excellent…just to be who you are. God’s beloved!
1 Corinthians 13 is the definition of love. This starts with ourselves, every relationship flows from our heart and comes from how we view ourselves. As we read the characteristics of love we realize we have shortchanged ourselves for a long time. Don’t settle for less than this love for yourself. Let all of your living be based in this love, and then our world will begin to change.
There are good days and bad days. We all have them. Why do some days flow better than others? We have our routines we follow most of the time, yet some days, things just don’t work. Some days are good hair days and some days we feel like we want to crawl out of our own skin.
It is our challenge to look for the good in our toughest moments. The days of car accidents, heels breaking, broken hearts or broken bodies. There is ALWAYS something good to find – IF we look for it. Our attitude is one of the few things in life we can control, it is the most important tool we have. When we decide we want a happy life – no matter what circumstance we find ourself in – we begin to make the choices that make that possible. A bad day, or moment, is not a bad life – do not let it derail you.
We are here for a limited time. What we do with that time matters. We have no guarantee of another day, or another moment. Ben Franklin said, ‘Do not waste time, for time is the stuff that life is made of.”
What if this moment is your last? How do you want to live it? Ok, do that! Still here? Yay!!! Take a deep breath, say a prayer of thanks and realize you are blessed to get the chance to do it again!
We are celebrating freedom today. What is freedom about? It’s all about love.
For many years I struggled with my desire to know about God. Who was this God? How could I grasp Him at all? One day I was brought to realized – God is love – that’s the root definition of God. I still remember that moment in 2009! Everything else springs from this fact. Every other belief and doctrine is based on this truth. God doesn’t just want us to need Him, God wants us to love Him. We do not obey because of fear of breaking the rules and punishment. We give love freely because we are in love with the love with Him, and we give ourselves freely as we express this passion and love inside of us. This is our most important relationship, but is what we base all of our human relationship from.
That sounds simple, right? Don’t we all talk about love and know about love? I thought I did, but as I began to read, think and live from this new knowledge of God, I began to realize how little I knew about love. It has been the most challenging and mind-blowing concept I have ever found. It challenges me every minute of everyday to try to live this way. This is not about head knowledge – this is about true intimacy. This is how we change the world. Each of us are responsible to live this way and show others this unconditional, and unconventional, love. God gives us true freedom. He will never make us do anything. He offers this love freely and all He wants is for us to receive it and allow it to seep into every aspect of our life and living. He allows us to make the choices on how we live out our lives. It is never coerced. Never manipulated. Will we choose this narrow way? It is not an easy way to live, yet it leads to life, and life abundantly.
It calls for so much more than religion, more than being ‘right’, or following the ‘big-ten’. It is not about figuring everything out, but about letting it all go. Abandoning myself for a love I cannot understand in my human experience, but I do experience it – in spirit and in truth – and so I KNOW it’s true. I have found it, I have lived it, I cannot deny it. God is loveis my truth. Now I must live that truth. It is a life which is challenging in every way. It brings us to messy, dangerous and uncomfortable places. Yet, when we really understand it – it is the only way to live. I have found obedience is the least I can do for this gift – it is truly my reasonable service, and the more I live this way and find intimacy with this great and amazing love, the less I want anything else. Nothing else can satisfy.
The truth of the words, God so loved the world, MUST change us. He gave his only son, the value of my soul, of each created soul, is found in that. We are each Beloved – just as we are. This is love and it is good!
Freedom is not cheap. The cost of our country’s freedom has been great. The cost of my personal freedom has been great. The cost of our soul’s freedom has been greater still. How I express my gratitude matters. I am so blessed and so grateful. What can this poor girl give in return? All I have are love songs – and that is why I sing my love songs, as loud as possible.
life: acoustic & amplified 
