life: acoustic & amplified

poetry, quotes & thoughts about life

Archive for the category “Reflection”

engagementΒ 

 

 

When our eyes are graced with wonder, the world reveals its wonders to us. There are people who see only dullness in the world and that is because their eyes have already been dulled. So much depends on how we look at things. The quality of our looking determines what we come to see.

     – John O’Donohue
 
 A thing of beauty is a joy for ever:

Its loveliness increases, it will never
Pass into nothingness; but still will keep
A bower quiet for us, and a sleep
Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing.
Therefore, on every morrow, are we wreathing
A flowery band to bind us to the earth,
Spite of despondence, of the inhuman dearth
Of noble natures, of the gloomy days,
Of all the unhealthy and o’er-darkened ways
Made of our searching; yes, in spite of all,
Some shape of beauty moves away the pall
From our dark spirits.


Excerpt from “Endymion” Book I by John Keats

Listen to my favorite song!

What A Wonderful World http://youtu.be/A3yCcXgbKrE

photo sources found at www.pinterest.com/al513

 

beautiful mess

 

 We can’t find our path without getting messy. Messy comes with the territory. We came in messy. We learn messy. We love messy. We grow messy. We leave messy. I never found my way to clarity without first befriending confusion, in all its chaotic forms. I never found a path that felt like home before falling into quick-sand. I never established a new way of being without trying the wrong way of being on for size. I never found the light without stumbling around in the dark. I never tasted God before getting a little dirt in my mouth. Not that all messiness is good messiness, but some of it is. In the heart of the chaos, is the clay that shapes us home. Chaotic Magnificence!

      – Jeff Brown    

  

 

 

 

Photo sources found at www.pinterest.com/al513 

color guard πŸ’š Β Β 

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

πŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’š

My heart is green

with the fuzz of springtime growth
borning life again
from the rich, bloody soil
it throbs anew
πŸ’š
My mind is blue
as the sky in sunshine
then
like the night full of stars and glittering tears
it diamond sparkles
πŸ’š
My life is orange
as flames in a forest
fire
breathing the wind
it grows wild
πŸ’š
My love is red
there is no hiding it
passion
real as anything
it woos pilgrims
πŸ’š
My touch is gold
hands, lips on wounds
aching
for velvet skin, shared breath
it heals all
πŸ’š
My soul is pearl
creamy and warm
welcome
to all who come
it opens hearts
πŸ’š
My word is platinum
I seek only truth
wisdom
life with integrity
it unlocks doors
πŸ’š
My work is emerald
deep as the world
brilliant
full of riches
it creates wealth
πŸ’š
My legacy is silver
of the finest made
pure
nothing for me
it’s all about You
πŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’š
ACL 3/28/15
Β 
Β 

Β 

True Colors by Eva Cassidy

http://youtu.be/uhP0bamERME

photo sources found at

www.pinterest.com/al513

Β 

The unfolding of the bare human soul … that is what interests me. Bruce Lee

IMG_6902
I sit with the ghost of ashes
on my forehead,
still raw and sore,
feeling the sting and exhaustion
that comes from vulnerability
in the face of possible rejection.
I feel unworthy,
even as I know I don’t need to.
I felt under dressed –
one of my hardest, most shame-filled, pettiest horrors in life.
I felt judged as less than,
even though I do not know for sure I was.
I feel broken,
crushed,
I sit in the ash heap of my past
reflected in the story I have to tell.
my truth –
it’s so ugly,
so jagged,
how can it ever be redeemed?
how can I possibly be arrogant enough to think that God will use me,
restore my life,
even bless me?

Because He already has.
Because the truth is, he is making beauty right in these ashes,
even this very moment.
If I have ever believed that for sure –
then this is the time to truly believe it.
No matter the judgement of anyone.
No matter the temptation which these feelings bring – yes, this is the wicked temptation –
to tempt me to feel
unworthy,
less than,
like I don’t belong,
like I can’t make new choices,
like my clothes matter more than my soul,
so I turn away and give up.
So I do not risk this feeling
by just not sharing my story.
So I forget, or ignore, the multitudes of miracles.
So I just take my life in my own hands and make something happen for myself, without God.
As I am tempted to do each moment.

I want to heap the ashes on my head,
sit in them,
rip my already hole-y sweat pants even more.
I want to wail –
instead of this civilized way of crying with tissues catching my overactive sinus production.
I want to run far away and have someone tell me I’m pretty,
I’m a victim,
Life’s unfair.

Yes, I am tasting ashes for lent.
Today, I am very aware of my inefficiencies.
I bow with humility.
I bow in gratitude.
I have nothing
Yet!
(there is hope!!!)
I am beloved!
thank God,
Easter is coming!!

AL 3/6/14

20 things you might consider giving up this Lent. And these are things to give up not just for Lent, but for the rest of your life.

β€’ Guilt – I am loved by Jesus and he has forgiven my sins. Today is a new day and the past is behind.
β€’ Fear – God is on my side. In him I am more than a conqueror. (see Romans 8)
β€’ The need to please everyone – I can’t please everyone anyways. There is only one I need to strive to please.
β€’ Envy – I am blessed. My value is not found in my possessions, but in my relationship with my Heavenly Father.
β€’ Impatience – God’s timing is the perfect timing.
β€’ Sense of entitlement – The world does not owe me anything. God does not owe me anything. I live in humility and grace.
β€’ Bitterness and Resentment – The only person I am hurting by holding on to these is myself.
β€’ Blame – I am not going to pass the buck. I will take responsibility for my actions.
β€’ Gossip and Negativity – I will put the best construction on everything when it comes to other people. I will also minimize my contact with people who are negative and toxic bringing other people down.
β€’ Comparison – I have my own unique contribution to make and there is no one else like me.
β€’ Fear of failure – You don’t succeed without experiencing failure. Just make sure you fail forward.
β€’ A spirit of poverty – Believe with God that there is always more than enough and never a lack
β€’ Feelings of unworthiness – You are fearfully and wonderfully made by your creator. (see Psalm 139)
β€’ Doubt – Believe God has a plan for you that is beyond anything you could imagine. The future is brighter than you could ever realize.
β€’ Self-pity – God comforts us in our sorrow so that we can comfort others with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.
β€’ Retirement – As long as you are still breathing, you are here for a reason. You have a purpose to influence others for Christ. That does not come to an end until the day we die.
β€’ Excuses – A wise man once said, if you need an excuse, any excuse will do.
β€’ Lack of counsel – Wise decisions are rarely made in a vacuum.
β€’ Pride – Blessed are the humble.
β€’ Worry – God is in control and worrying will not help.
God has so much more in store for you. But so many of these things above are holding you back from walking in the full destiny he has laid out for you. Today is a new day.

So there you have it. What else might you add to the list?

God’s blessings,
Pastor Phil
http://gs4nj.org/20-things-to-give-up-for-lent/

IMG_6899

🐱 furry friends

2015/01/img_6378.jpg

I know. I know.
they are limited, have different
needs and
concerns.

but I watch and learn from them.
I like the little they know,
which is so
much.

they complain but never
worry,
they walk with a surprising dignity.
they sleep with a direct simplicity that
humans just can’t
understand.

their eyes are more
beautiful than our eyes.
and they can sleep 20 hours
a day
without
hesitation or
remorse.

when I am feeling
low
all I have to do is
watch my cats
and my
courage
returns.

I study these
creatures.

they are my
teachers.

my cats by Charles Bukowski

2015/01/img_6377.jpg

2015/01/img_6376.jpg

2015/01/img_6375.jpg

2015/01/img_6374.jpg
More photos and cute videos @
http://news.distractify.com/matt-buco/ninja-cats-you-will-never-find/

just knock

2015/01/img_6007.jpg
In Matthew 7:7 Jesus told us to ask, seek and Knock and the door will open. It’s written as a guarantee.

Our only responsibility is to want the door to open.

25 years ago I came to that door. I raised my hand and I knocked.

I began an adventure, which is healing my life and has lead me right here. I have found that the secret to curing both my insecurity and my arrogance is to seek who God is – and I have come to be humbly aware that even my seeking is because He sought me first and the ability to want Him, somehow comes from His wanting me.

My relationship with Love (because God = Love) has steadily changed and grown, as has my awareness of the mystery, magnitude and wonder of who He is.

Along the pathway I have been granted the tiniest of mind-blowing glimpses, which are almost more than I can comprehend. They always take my breath away and I stagger when fiery glory becomes visible, as only God can reveal, because only a moment before it looked to me like another ordinary bush. These glimpses always reveal the ridiculousness of my own desire for self-importance, and free me to release any need for performance or perfection.

As I have discovered grace, I see just how little this great God needs me, or you – but, oh, how much He wants me and you! It is the desire of God to know and be known by us and He was willing to become helpless and give His very life to enter into that intimacy we call relationship. We are each His most beloved and as I began the journey of accepting myself, warts and all, as truly loved and worthy of belonging, I find I can also love you, with your warts, as I do myself.

These things blow my mind, This great love pours over me and gives me courage and passion. It allows me to share myself, my life and songs with you. I believe it is the only thing that could possibly allow someone like me to fall so deeply in love that I lay aside my personal desires, to become transparent and vulnerable, willing to endure the shame of the cross of Christ. I surrender to a plan I really can’t even understand, much less have any control over, yet know for certain is so much more valuable than I could ever even imagine!

Every day, I am surprised to find myself here. I am the most unlikely pilgrim ever, and I gratefully think about these strange things and say, along with every other person who has ever experienced this amazing love,

WHO AM I, that You would love someone like me? I am not much, but I am yours, please help me be all You have created me to be, take me, use me. Your will be done on earth as in heaven. Yes, here am I, send me.
ACL 1/14/15

2015/01/img_6008.jpg

God does not change, but He uses changeβ€”to change us. He sends us on journeys that bring us to the end of ourselves. We often feel out of control, yet if we embrace His leading, we may find ourselves on the ride of our lives.
– Jen Hatmaker

2015/01/img_6006.jpg

be light

2015/01/img_5827.jpg
You will come at a turning of the trail
to a wall of flame
After the hard climb & the exhausted dreaming
you will come to a place where he
with whom you have walked this far
will stop will stand
beside you on the treacherous steep path
& stare as you shiver at the moving wall, the flame
that blocks your vision of what comes after.
And that one
who you thought would accompany you always,
who held your face
tenderly a little while in his handsβ€”
who pressed the palms of his hands into drenched grass
& washed from your cheeks, the tear-tracksβ€”
he is telling you now
that all that stands between you
& everything you have known since the beginning
is this: this wall. Between yourself
& the beloved, between yourself & your joy,
the riverbank swaying with wildflowers, the shaft
of sunlight on the rock, the song.
Will you pass through it now, will you let it consume
whatever solidness this is
you call your life, & send
you out, a tremor of heat,
a radiance, a changed
flickering thing?

Questo Muro by Anita Barrows

2015/01/img_5756.jpg

2015/01/img_5783.jpg

2015/01/img_5880.jpg

2015/01/img_5878.jpg

2015/01/img_5879.jpg

Happy 3 Year Anniversary!!

I could have…

2015/01/img_5822.jpg
I have spent most of my adult life in bad relationships, and when I say bad, I mean it in the worst sense of that word. I’m not blaming anyone else. I ‘needed’ and chose those relationships to learn what I have learned about myself, I needed them to shine the spotlight on my dark places and I needed them to show me the differences between what love is and is not, and for my own personal healing, which has allowed me to leave harmful relationships and still fight through to stay open to love.
I believe in love! I want love! I want a life partner! I want tenderness! We are here to love.
I am a girl who loves deeply, loves passionately and has the ability to see potential in others, and have fallen in love with potential a few times.
All human relationships are tricky and there is always this balance of good and bad. The passion and the ugly underbelly of when passion twists and becomes something else, can easily happen.
I’m not calling myself an expert, I try not to judge, but to understand myself through what I have chosen. I have never allowed myself to be a victim. I make choices. I have free will. I am responsible for my own actions. I do not condone the bad actions of others, but I have to take responsibility for only mine.
Here are a few of my own:
I lived in a verbally, mentally and sexually abusive marriage for 12 years; I accepted a marriage proposal in which I was asked to be a consolation prize; I stayed way longer than I should have with a man with a drug addiction who stole all my money (I convinced myself I could help him-ha); I chose to stay for two years with a man who refused to even allow me to sit beside him on the sofa without his permission. I dated a man who was willing to commit what he believed was ‘sin’ with me and then say terrible words of condemnation and judgement of that sin afterward. Then choose to put us both back in that same situation again.
There were many good things about all these relationships as well. Things that made me want to stay, want to see them get better. That’s why it’s tricky. How do you give up? That’s not easy for me.
You have to examine what you’ll tolerate. What’s important. You have to be willing to lose things. Sometimes really big things, and without a guarantee of what you will receive in return. It’s a huge gamble to go for what you really want – and be willing to believe that a real equal relationship is possible. Takes a lot of faith and guts.
Yup, I have been in some real doozies. I am so grateful for paying attention and learning a few lessons.
One of the biggest has been the ‘Potential problem’ πŸ˜ƒ Every person I have ever loved, including myself, has vast amounts of untapped potential. I am hopeful that I have learned the lessons of entering into an intimate relationship with someone who has firmly chosen to leave that landscape under ice their whole life.
Just the other day a wonderful man said to me…’I could have…’ but guess what? He didn’t. I see that. It’s ok. He’s free to make choices. I am just so grateful I have learned and don’t allow myself to give him credit for what he could have done, but left undone.
There are so many things I could do, but what remains is what I do. It is what it is. Always.
I can love someone deeply, but that doesn’t mean I give up what I have learned. That would just be stupid of me.
Through all my adventures and lessons in this complex and wonderful thing we have simply named LOVE, my greatest blessing in taking responsibility for myself has been learning to love myself. I feel so fortunate to have found myself lovely, lovable and totally beloved and to know for sure, you can find that true for yourself – IF you choose to!!
I would love to find a life partner, someone to share myself and the rest of the journey with, but I am ok if that doesn’t happen. I would rather walk alone than be in an unequal relationship. I pray for the ability to keep that always in my vision!
I am so grateful for the words of Anne LaMott, ‘Grace meets us right where we are, but never leaves us there.’ and I have found EVERY little thing is grace, if we allow it.
ACL 1/9/15

2015/01/img_5816.jpg

2015/01/img_5815.jpg

2015/01/img_5817.jpg

2015/01/img_5805.jpg

2015/01/img_5803.jpg

no apologies

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/ed9/21335673/files/2014/12/img_5176.jpg
I am done with apologies. If contrariness is my
inheritance and destiny, so be it. If it is my mission
to go in at exits and come out at entrances, so be it.
I have planted by the stars in defiance of the experts,
and tilled somewhat by incantation and by singing,
and reaped, as I knew, by luck and Heaven’s favor,
in spite of the best advice. If I have been caught
so often laughing at funerals, that was because
I knew the dead were already slipping away,
preparing a comeback, and can I help it?
And if at weddings I have gritted and gnashed
my teeth, it was because I knew where the bridegroom
had sunk his manhood, and knew it would not
be resurrected by a piece of cake. β€˜Dance,’ they told me,
and I stood still, and while they stood
quiet in line at the gate of the Kingdom, I danced.
β€˜Pray,’ they said, and I laughed, covering myself
in the earth’s brightnesses, and then stole off gray
into the midst of a revel, and prayed like an orphan.
When they said, β€˜I know my Redeemer liveth,’
I told them, β€˜He’s dead.’ And when they told me
β€˜God is dead,’ I answered, β€˜He goes fishing ever day
in the Kentucky River. I see Him often.’
When they asked me would I like to contribute
I said no, and when they had collected
more than they needed, I gave them as much as I had.
When they asked me to join them I wouldn’t,
and then went off by myself and did more
than they would have asked. β€˜Well, then,’ they said
β€˜go and organize the International Brotherhood
of Contraries,’ and I said, β€˜Did you finish killing
everybody who was against peace?’ So be it.
Going against men, I have heard at times a deep harmony
thrumming in the mixture, and when they ask me what
I say I don’t know. It is not the only or the easiest
way to come to the truth. It is one way.

Β© Wendell Berry. This poem is excerpted

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/ed9/21335673/files/2014/12/img_5172.jpg

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/ed9/21335673/files/2014/12/img_5175.jpg

holiness vs perfection

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/ed9/21335673/files/2014/12/img_5103.jpg
FINDING THE HOLY IN THE HOLIDAYS:

Holiness is the center that holds all peripheries; the ground beneath feet running to look for gifts, the held note of a song that leaves a listener silent in the busiest most glittering street. Holiness is a simultaneous form of invitation and gathering and a radical letting alone, of family, of food, of perspectives, the holy is reached through letting go, by giving up on perfection. Holiness is the rehabilitation of the discarded; the uncelebrated and the imperfect, into new unities, perceived again as gift. Holiness is the bringing of the outside into the inside, from where the inside can give again, transformed as if by its simple act of breathing in and breathing out, back into the world.

Holiness is memory independent of time, welling from the unspoken that holds together all words said at the busy surface; holiness marries hurry to rest, stress to spaciousness, and joy to heartbreak in our difficult attempt to give and receive and as a culmination can dissolve giver and receiver into one conversation, untouched by the hurry of the hours.

Holiness is not in Bethlehem, nor Jerusalem, nor the largest, most glittering, mall, unless we are there in good company, with a friend, with a loved one, with our affections, with our best and most generous thoughts, with a deep form of inhabited silence, or in a grounded central conversation with what and how we like to give. Holiness is coming to ground in the essence of our giving and receiving, a mirror in which we can see both our virtues and our difficulties, but also, a doorway to the life we want beyond this particular form of exchange.

Holiness is beautiful beckoning uncertainty: time celebrated and time already gone so quickly. Holiness dissolves the prison of time and lies only one short step from the present busy moment: just one look into the starry darkness of the mid-winter sky at the midnight hour, just one glance at a daughter’s face; just one sight of a distressed friend alone in the midst of a crowded celebration. Holiness is a step taken not to the left or to the right, but straight through present besieging outer circumstances, to the core of the pattern we inhabit at the very center of the celebration. Holiness is reached not through effort or will, but by stopping; by an inward coming to rest; a place from which we can embody the spirit of all our holy days, a radical, inhabited simplicity, where we live in a kind of on going surprise and with some wonder and appreciation, far from perfection, but inhabiting the very center of a beautiful, peripheral giftedness.

Finding the Holy in the Holidays
Β© David Whyte

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/ed9/21335673/files/2014/12/img_5111.jpg
I sat in the library
With the small silent tree,
She and I alone.
How softly she shone!

And for the first time then
For the first time this year,
I felt reborn again,
I knew love’s presence near.

Love distant, love detached
And strangely without weight,
Was with me in the night
When everyone had gone
And the garland of pure light
Stayed on, stayed on

Christmas Light by May Sarton

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/ed9/21335673/files/2014/12/img_5115.jpg

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/ed9/21335673/files/2014/12/img_5119.jpg
watercolor by Mary Lou Peters

Post Navigation