life: acoustic & amplified

poetry, quotes & thoughts about life

Archive for the category “Reflection”

It is what it is

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I believe this statement above is true, and when you really get the importance and the impact of that statement it truly changes your mindset about the growth and evolving nature of people and how we change our lives – or not.

I remember when I began to realize this truth – in 1995, I had been struggling with my weight since 1987-88, I had 2 babies in 2 years and was in a very unhappy, abusive relationship. Food was my friend, and the joy of my day. Yet also a source of imprisonment and shame. I would diet/fail and then feel worse about myself than ever. That all changed for me one day. I decided I had enough and I was going to lose that 90 pounds.

This was five years into my life-changing experience with God. I had been reading every self-help idea that I could find, and following the words of Jesus from Matthew 5-7, and, as I look back, this was my first big test of faith and endurance. Could I discipline myself, could I change myself, change the way I thought about food?  Could I really change my life so openly and begin to become who I wanted to be?

Six months later I had lost 90 pounds, but that wasn’t all that had changed. I had a new confidence in myself. I had many new ideas about my own strength, my value, my ability to accomplish what I wanted in the face of adversity, and a new concept of change. My faith was stronger and my resolve was more firmly established! I remembered trying before and failing – what made this time different? I was ready. This truth has followed me since, and I have begun to understand myself and others better because of this truth. This is why ‘motivation’ and ‘resolutions’ don’t last. It has to be an embracing of a new way. A readiness to let go of the old in order to go higher and arrive at a new and better place. This usually makes life uncomfortable – sometimes for a long time, and so we have to be ready and willing to make that move.

Some people never do.

It is each persons responsibility to decide how they want to live their lives, and that means their choices and their changes are up to them. When we stand at the end of life and look back, what do we want to have left behind us? What do we want our lives to look like? Who have we crafted ourselves into? Have we settled, or have we prepared ourselves and then embraced the changes to become our highest selves?

That’s my goal! I keep getting preparing myself to be ready to grow in grace, knowledge and love! We must be willing to change – we must be prepared to make choices which reflect our desires!

LOVE this thought…a ‘wow’ poem for us today!!!!

Flesh and Bones

“Look at my hands and my feet;
         see that it is I myself.
         Touch me and see;
         for a ghost does not have flesh and bones
         as you see that I have.”
                  —Luke 24.39

The Roman Imperium by its sword
tried to sever Jesus from his life,
to pry him from his own flesh;
and their minions ever since have sought
to separate the spiritual from the physical
Death, they reasoned, ought to do it well.

How daft of them to think
The One who made all things,
who crafted earth and us from dust,
who fashioned smooth and rugged stones,
and lungs and lips and eyes and hands,
and bones that bear their burdens
with such elegance and grace,
and skin, its mounds and cups and curves
and plains and folds so eloquent,
alluring, and divine—
that the Creating One would by their force
forget pronouncing all things,
in their concrete thingness, good.
They didn’t know the one thing that God wants
is for all love to be made flesh.
So when they robbed poor Jesus of his breath
and blood, the one thing that God gave him, new
and holy, raising him from death, was this:
a body, flawed but breathing, flesh and bone.

Believer, show yourself your hands and side,
your trembling, lusting, spiritual mass,
your creaking, flabby, leaking, blessed flesh.
Look at your hands, that God has made. This is
the glory in which resurrection comes.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

even so…come quickly

For seeing that something always comes
to fill the empty places.
For making spaces,
and not being afraid of
the empty places —
for letting all the moments be
these empty containers
sure of the filling of God.

– Ann Voskamp
http://www.aholyexperience.com/

I have waited a lot over the years, for many different reasons. In 1997 I stepped out in a leap of faith, and my life exploded in ways I certainly never expected and I began a walk of faith that has been quite an incredible journey with God. It certainly was not what I would have picked for myself, yet, I do not question the way. As the song, Heal the Wound says, ‘I have not lived a life that boasts of anything, and I don’t take pride in what I’ve done, But I’ll build an alter with the rubble that you found me in, and every stone will sing of what you can redeem.’

In 2008 I waited on God for 52 days. It was an indescribably difficult time, in so many ways, and it changed me. It took my relationship with God and my faith to a new level. It was a time of learning and trusting God way beyond anything I had ever done before, and it set incredible things in motion over these next years. It took me to places of growth and healing that I did not expect, yet and so grateful for.

As you can probably tell by this blog over the past week or so – I am at another place of waiting, and, as I walk thorough it I am so thankful I have the prior experiences to encourage me as I walk through this time. Yes, patience is a virtue because it’s HARD!!! haha Certainly doesn’t come naturally for me…how about you? I want to make things happen! Shake up the people involved! Get something resolved – RIGHT NOW!!!! And yet I know, if I wait on God, if I am patient, it will be the right resolution, not just an end, or a beginning. Living with faith, having patience, putting life’s tough issues into God’s hands – then not worrying about them, and just waiting for Him is a practice of strength, discipline and courage – it is a choice which adds maturity, peace, joy, abundance, and so many other great benefits to our lives. It also allows us to grow in intimacy with God in ways that are like nothing else we experience.

As I read Ann’s words above, I, too, am sure (and eager) of the filling…and so I wait…

It’s more…

WHEN GOD IS SILENT

Gentle Pilgrim,

do not be anxious in those times

when your prayers are struck dumb

and God falls silent.

Do not worry when you walk among ruins

longing for an explanation,

when you break your questions

against the hard darkness,

when the ears of your heart

stop up like wells of clay,

when you listen and hear

nothing.

Take heart: you have not

been cut off,

you have fallen into the

deep green pool

at the center of the world

where there is no language,

only presence.

You have passed out of the

market of words

and into the hands of God.

Wrap the silence around you

like a prayer shawl,

this communion with mysteries too great

to be compressed into the paper cups of words.

Be still, and trust God’s mute embrace,

God’s sigh too deep for words,

God’s presence,

beyond all explanation.

_______________________________

Copyright © 2009
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
unfoldinglight@hotmail.com

http://songsfromthevalley.com/September-09-2.18-Alone.pdf

Worry is not a necessary part of life

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The spiritual life is a life that is guided by God’s Spirit, the same Spirit that guided the life of Jesus. So, how can we be in touch with the Spirit, hear the voice of the Spirit, and allow ourselves to be guided by the Spirit?
Can we create some space for God where we can hear, feel, and experience the Spirit of God, and where it becomes possible for us to respond? Is there space in our lives where the Spirit of God has a chance of getting our attention?
We fill our inner space with worry about things that might happen and guilt about things that have already happened. And beneath our worry and our guilt there is a deep fear of empty spaces.
When we create an empty space, we make room for something to happen to us that we cannot predict, something that might be really new.

– Henri Nouwen
http://www.henrinouwen.org/

Into the silence

I am still
I wait
I pray
I clean
I am alone
– for the most part
Solitary
– even in a crowd

I wish for it
– interruptions come
some enjoyable
some annoying
I am present, yet not

I know the answer will come
I know movement is coming
but for now
It is the silence
That I embrace
and endure
with patience
and courage
at other times I have even been cheerful during this time
but not this time

This time,
I am in mourning
Grief surrounds my heart
heavy sadness
– for choices made
– being made even now

I long for intimacy
I long to be the choice
I wish I could help
but I can’t

Only God can do what needs to be done
– and He can only do it if the choice is made by you
– to ask, seek, knock – even the slightest opening He can transform
the choice is personal and must be freely made

and so we wait –
me and God
Jesus puts his arm around my shoulders
and pulls me close
I feel the Spirit holding my heart and bringing me comfort
I close my eyes and hear his promise,
‘I will never leave you or forsake you’
and my sadness is blurred
with the surge of peace and joy

The silence is good
we know each other here
in the waiting
we have been here many times before
I have learned to wait
– Even enjoy this path
the answer will come soon enough
this is the place of intimacy and trust
where we know each other most

Life will move forward
and I will spring into action
and do what is being set for me to do in my waiting

I do not question the way
– I am a willing vessel
Mine was a shattered life
which has known your healing touch
you, so lovingly, put my pieces together again
and mended me with love

My God knows the way
– mine is a heart of thankfulness
I am the grateful follower
waiting to love you and share with whomever I can
Not for any other reason except love

You have allowed me to glimpse
My belovedness
My value
The value of each soul you have created
The depths of your love is unending

I desire only to please you
My creator, my savior, my lover, my friend

I long to share this love
with the ones you allow me to

And so I wait
I stay in the silence
until my answer comes
and God speaks
I am listening, Lord
As You have before,
Speak when you are ready

AL 4/13/12

Make someday today!

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No matter what – Jesus will still be there

This morning I am reading Still: Notes on a Mid-Faith Crisis, and the words of Laura F. Winner resound in my heart –

And again, to church. Sometimes I cannot say much about why I go to church other than what people who go to the gym say: I always feel better once I’m there; I feel better after; it is always good for me, not in a take-your-vitamins way, in a chidingly moralistic way, but in a palpable way. Perhaps this is to turn religion into therapy. But church is therapy, that is one of the many things it is, and as my friend Mike once told me, the real problem lies not in recognizing the therapeutic balm of the gospel; the real problem is going through life thinking that the health you need can be found anywhere else.

http://thecripplegate.com/

Love is Victory

You were created to love.
It is your nature, and your purpose.

Your fears and desires get in the way:
your self-centeredness, your desire for control,
your fear of loss or diminishment,
your weakness and your wounds,
your attachment to things
that subvert love and drain life from you,
all prevent you from loving perfectly.

But their power is an illusion.
We flung them all at Jesus—
even death, and the wort suffering.
And they did not stop him;
they could not stop love.

God has defeated them,
buried them in the grave with him,
and he has come to us now without them.
He has risen, and has overcome them all.

You are free to love.
When you love you die to that world of fear,
and you are raised to a new life.
When you love you enter into God,
into what is divine and infinite and eternal.
When you love, even at great cost,
and even if you fail,
even if you have no effect at all,
you have won the victory.

 

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
used with permission

Don’t wait to commit!

How do you feel about commitment? I used not to think about it very much, and then my whole life changed and I had to make some of the toughest decisions I could ever have to make in this world. Did my faith really matter? Did my commitment level really make a difference? You bet it did!

I just finished the book, Not a Fan, by Kyle Idleman http://www.notafan.com/ it is one of the best books I have ever read on this subject. Are you a fan or a follower? Do you understand commitment? Do you understand intimacy? Do you understand the price of being free? Do you know your value? Are you committed? To Christ? To any of your relationships?

When my whole life exploded (about 15 years ago now) and I plunged into poverty, loss, homelessness, chaos…for year after year. When I thought I had nothing left to lose and then I lost more and even more – I had a choice to make: Was I committed? What did I really want? I didn’t understand exactly that I was committing. I remember in 1990, praying, I want to be happy…and AS LONG AS I am moving in that direction…I will continue to follow God’s path. Ha Well, it certainly hasn’t been the path I expected, but I have become so in love and so consumed and so full of love, joy and peace – not because of me, but because of the Spirit of God, I have found it is my all-consuming passion to die to myself and to attempt to move out-of-the-way so I can live and love in God’s way that is sooo much more than I can ever explain!

There have been several moments when it could have gone either way for me, I stood on the edge of the decision, day after day, and made the very tough choice toward faith. It didn’t make sense to many people, there were many times when it certainly didn’t make sense to me, and during those times I would cling to the promises. I would read Psalm 37, James 1, Matthew 5-7, and daily words of encouragement, many times over and over. I would listen to music, I would walk in nature. Each time I struggled and each time I found peace, hope, grace to continue my journey with Jesus.

I have to tell you, many times God seemed silent, Jesus was just a shadowy figure who didn’t seem real or relevant, and I had to look back at the path behind me, the miracles of the past years to keep my faith alive. Many times I sat for a while and just couldn’t move any further, a few times I made desperate decisions and ended up having to deal with those decisions for many years, but every day I have continued to ask, seek and knock. My faith and my passion have grown and I want nothing else in this world than to know my creator more. To understand love so that I can share that same love with others.

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