So what if we really paid attention
and nickel-and-dimed life away
on afternoon tag by the cedars.
A string of bare toes with a stack of old books.
This one lone bowl filling with morning light.
Day after day, shelling out slow mindfulness
on whatnots of amazing grace,
collecting pieces of God-glory.
This buying of a bit of medicine
that cures ADD of the soul.
– Ann Voskamp
Every day is a fresh beginning,
Listen my soul to the glad refrain.
And, in spite of all sorrows
And older sinning,
Troubles forecasted
And possible pain,
Take heart with the day and begin again.
– Susan Coolidge
Im having a do-over day.
It’s a little shorter than most days,
but that’s ok.
In the first half of my do-over day,
(which is in bad need of redemption).
Somewhere between my alarm going off
and me reaching for my phone to check my email,
this day twisted
and went sour.
Not just a little sour,
rancid sour,
like clumpy milk and spoiled eggs mixed together.
I spent much of my day trying,
desperately,
to get my balance,
regain my equilibrium,
stem the tidal waves of fear and disappointment.
Sooooo…
at approximately 4:45 PM EST,
I decided to start it over.
I said a cheery ‘hello there’
to my new day and then
I got in the shower and rewashed myself
and my hair.
I got out and made myself a first cup of coffee for my new morning
and I drank it wrapped in my bathrobe.
Dried my hair
Reapplied my makeup
(which had not survived my many bouts of crying in the bad, rotten day before)
and dressed myself to go about my new day.
In this day there will be music and laughter.
There will be fresh friendship and good food.
In this day I will give thanks and I will keep calm and carry on.
I am grateful for this new day.
New mercies.
New grace.
New strength.
New thoughts.
New choices.
Tally-ho, old chap,
Top O’ the morning to you,
lovely second sunrise today,
don’t you think?
AL 2/21/2014
Today I found myself empty
Empty of words
Empty of color
Empty of strength
Empty of empathy
Empty of ability
Empty of defenses
Empty of thoughts even.
I’ve been here many times over the years,
I understand it better now.
I rested a lot.
Did minimal work,
other than cleaning up diarrhea
and fixing meals,
I mainly stayed in bed
stayed in open, wordless, prayer –
Allowing the emptiness to be.
For five months now,
I have been giving my life force
to others, to keep them alive.
I have earned this emptiness.
I must allow myself to recharge.
I have nothing more to give at this moment.
The filling up of the emptiness
must be done carefully
and in prayer.
Tomorrow is another day.
Baby steps.
AL 10/12/13
Walking in the woods this morning
I was distracted; my mind wandered
out of the woods, far away from them
and from me. I kept having to return
to the woods, return to this morning,
return to myself. Then I would leave again.
The trees called out to me,
the leaves gently turning fall colors,
the sun reaching its long arms through them
to me, to me walking there,
but I didn’t notice.
But they were still there, weren’t they,
calling to me, reaching out, surrounding me.
Most of the time I don’t notice God
in this world, in the people around me,
in all that is. But God is still there,
calling, reaching out, surrounding.
If we can’t live in holiness all the time
we can remember now and then.
We can return. God is still there,
waiting for us. Each moment
is a return.
__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
This moment
is the house of God
I am
is
right now
is the present moment
I can only have intimacy
fellowship
when I stay
right here
now
be here now
give thanks now
open
silent
listening
responding
alive to this moment
to see the blazing bush
to take off my shoes
it’s all about now
stay aware
Love will build our home
abide with me
come on home
to my house
come on home
to me
AL 8/27/13
The Celtic understanding of friendship finds its inspiration and culmination in the sublime notion of the anam cara. Anam is the Gaelic word for soul; cara is the word for friend. The anam cara was a person to whom you could reveal the hidden intimacies of your life. This friendship was an act of recognition and belonging. When you had an anam cara, your friendship cut across all convention and category. You were joined in an ancient and eternal way with the friend of your soul.
– John O’Donohue
I didn’t write a poem yesterday
The third day I have missed writing at least one poem,
for the past 8 months.
There were many moments I could have captured –
But I didn’t.
moments of grace,
moments of failed attempts at grace,
moments of beauty,
moments of ordinary life,
in an ordinary day,
disgusting moments of clean up,
moments of peace watching the breeze sway the trees,
moments of aggravation trying to feed an old dog pills,
unexpected treasures of a cool wind at noon in July,
and unexpected hardships walking from the grocery store overloaded with bags.
There were lovely moments of frosting cupcakes with fresh buttercream,
moments of friendship, shared laughter and food,
hard moments of garbled, angry speech,
blissful moments of holding new baby, Eli –
that was definitely a poetic moment!
There were painful moments of looking at a very ill face,
winning moments as the Mets beat the Braves.
all these moments,
and so many more
each a gift I received,
each a story to be shared with humanity.
Such are the moments of our lives,
our stories to scribe on our hearts and on paper.
So many miracles to notice,
to acknowledge,
to record.
So many ways to write a poem –
and I chose none of them
AL 7/26/13
Have you considered the time of life when you face death? In America, we tend to deny that we will die. Deny that we will not live forever, but the truth is it is appointed unto man to die. No one is exempt and we will all face the transition into the next place (whatever that looks like) and we will be gone from this dimension, this time shall pass and so shall we.
I have always known that, I spent time growing up around death and a lot of funerals as my dad was a pastor and my family sang, but I still remember when I read Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and did the exercise of going forward to my death and looking back – what would I want my life to be about? What would I want to be able to say and hear from others about my life? That exercise helped me in so many ways and I have continued to do it at least once a year – it keeps me growing and also helps me let go of things that I do not want to have in my life if I die tomorrow.
As I read books about The Art of Dying and The art of Being a Healing Presence I realize how important it is to live with the reality of death. Not wishing death, but aware of death. Taking care of the business of my call to live today in the best possible way. I believe the way to die well is to live well.
The colors blend
I think about
life
and
death
the importance of doing both well
how does it happen?
how do we live and die with grace?
the longer I live I am more and more convinced
It centers around our
thoughts
which lead us to
choices
our choices are all important
to both our living
and our dying
if I want to die with grace
I must live with grace
to live with grace
I must choose my thoughts wisely
I must listen to the wisdom which tells me,
Guard your heart, child, for everything you do flows from your heart.
AL 6/26/13
In the space between breaths.
The silence between two notes.
It can be gone –
A month’s worth of words
erased with a fingertip.
Gone for
forever.
A 12, 30 even 63 year marriage over
With 4 simple words spoken:
I want a divorce.
A home with all its possessions
destroyed in a matter of minutes
in the fury of nature –
Fire,
storm,
or selfishness
Life!
so fragile,
with no guarantees
of longevity
or comfort,
begs to be lived
now.
In the middle of it all,
the song must be sung
or forever silenced.
Living a lifetime a day
is the only way
to count
for the sake of goodness.
This moment
is the only moment that counts.
The thing eternal
are these moments
that don’t wait.
Take a deep, deep breath
of the spirit that is giving it all.
Breathe your thank you’s
in and out.
Slowly.
Wholly.
Holy.
Allow this new air change the world,
to light up the inner rooms of darkness,
for the only gift that matters,
the only thing that remains.
All else can be destroyed.
When nothing else remains,
what is this eternal gift?
Love, and love alone
is why we exist.
AL 12/22/12
life: acoustic & amplified 