life: acoustic & amplified
poetry, quotes & thoughts about life
Archive for the category “Faith”
exposé
It’s happened
time and time again…
yet this time more so
than anything,
capital…ANYTHING…
ever before.
don’t you think it’s strange,
how a shared pancake can be life changing?
it was the opposite of the final straw.
it was the catalyst for the rising curtain of the beginning,
starting a chain reaction of Biblical proportion,
a new free-fall dive
into the inner deep,
silence tearing up the very foundations
of the ocean floor,
of this life lived on the dangerous edges
of the radical cliffs of self-examination.
Seven days of seismic eruption
creating volcanic activity so great
that dreams,
long gestating in the souls womb,
burst forth –
born,
ready to scream in their own voice,
into this wonderful world.
as if no longer able to remain
hidden inside their clay container.
Seven days so extraordinary
they have changed my world
as I have always known it.
uncovering the naked bones of my foundation,
exposing the shadowy villains of my learned weaknesses,
giving me new strength to heal those newly uncovered,
rotted, shattered places.
in this place of my own choosing
I walk, choosing to be soft,
in spite of the gripping fear.
I choose vulnerability as my guide forward,
into the fury of places I have long avoided.
somehow, all of this,
including not knowing much of things
I dearly wish I knew,
brings me hope for the brilliant future
of this long-awaited life,
no longer holding back
but fully, wholly, inhabited,
at this current phase of growth,
as it should be
when we fall completely,
head over heels,
in love.
🔥
Amy Lloyd (AL)
Blackness becomes you! – Fred LaMotte
At the end of your chanted path,
where the desert becomes the sea,
when you arrive your
songs are already here.
They greet you with silence
and you learn your name.
The rainbow curves toward darkness.
The surface of every sphere
tilts into its vacuum, pours
a golden yolk into raven wings.
Now make a new body of your brave
annihilation, weightless as a flame.
And tell me, dancing tongue of fire,
don’t you prefer the night?
Blackness becomes you.
🔥
Alfred K LaMotte
When the sooty corners of our dark night
absorb into porcelain skin at last
leaving it a whole new shade of refined
When the geese in their skeined wedge take another enchanted voyage across the endless blue
When we wake up to this new day
loving life in spite of all that has gone before
When the one who loves us allows us joy in our exile
until we are ready to break our silent bread
When we allow the challenging heaviness of our limiting beliefs to enter into our arena wrestling until we have achieved Olympic gold
When we trust the great freedom of what has brought us to this very moment
When the wine of our heart
in it’s purest burgundy of bubbling merry or deepest sorrow
pours clear and jeweled in its crushing
When we give away freely our best crimson to everyone we meet at this royal wedding
When we finally recognize the truth that there is no journey of arriving
there is simply life
this grandest celebration of skin touching skin
the sharing of moments
the wonder of storytelling
the ancient ancestral linage of our tree-relations
the wonder of teaching and tasting and exploring
coffee and kisses and learning any odd/old/new thing with the ones you love
then we have arrived at our true work
the why we have sought so desperately to uncover for so long
lying crumpled and useless in the trash can
as we, a bit drunk, on our own exquisite vintage
make love to the world in blissful ecstasy
shhhh…there are new songs playing
listen…
just listen…
to that saxophone…
In this world
I’m so glad there is you
🎷
Amy Lloyd (AL)
No matter how dark the clouds seem, they are only clouds. The sun is always shining, the sky is always light blue. The clouds are just droplets of water, gathered together to tease people who don’t remember the truth.
– Chris Collins
grace has a liberal bias
Most of life begins with a whisper ..a sigh that slips through the unconscious mind, the bridge between human and divine… raising the bar… giving us jiggle room to live a different kind of life…..there are no notes any more. Wisdom on paper, wisdom in blood.
Nothing more than thin layers dividing land from the sea, a clear lane that resides between ethereal sound and make believe. Peter Pan, a ship in the sky, a way to live enchanted, before the mystery flies over…beyond the eye…and heaven looks like…feels like…sounds like…smells like…a way through where nothing is divided.
Breathing God takes concentration, purity runs like…peach juice down the chin; laughter from a child; finding honey on the tongue as ordinary …dressing in robes no one can see, and purple, drapes nicely in the heat of the day…some will say it is only play, and a new day begins with thin sheets of invisible…wide roads of possible, milky white and radiant.
Stepping into, standing beside, claiming victory, ignoring nothing other than the speed in which you die. Born for this…
to be alchemy and dreamer all at the same time… tantalized by burning through layers while walking the streets catching whiffs of perfume…Julian of Norwich no further down the road than a few hundred years and I can still hear her saying…”this God of yours walks in mysterious ways, I’ve heard it too….” and the sunrise begins to taint the Nebraska sky…a slight puff of cloud coverage begins on the edge, a yellow hue…prayers slip through the heart space, between kingdoms of glory and powers of might…I call on all the guidance that waits nearby…and another holy day begins. The world within the world.
Beauty,
Donna Knutson
I step softly into this day
a bit raw
a bit salty
I sit with my understanding
I stare into the abyss between
I uncover the wound to feel the morning air
I gently touch what is exposed
I sing over it
I let it go
I allow this hard thing to be the right
I do not see it all
I see enough
I walk forward with my longtime companion,
Beauty, in all she is,
attends my walking,
never disappoints,
she keeps my heart soft,
gives me hope in the smug places.
I am ever aware and grateful
🌸
Amy Lloyd (AL)
…and in the time remaining…all I wish you is love…
Love, like fire, can only reveal its brightness On the failure and beauty of burnt wood. – Philippe Jaccottet
Everyone is having a hard time. Everyone is insecure. Everyone is hassled. Everyone is tired–we all need more sleep. Everyone wishes he had more courage, more money, and better social skills. Everyone wants more glamour in his life, and we all desperately need more laughter. Few can figure out how they ended up living the life they lead. Don’t be misled by flippant talk; it’s a battle for everyone.
🔥
– Joshua Halberstam
the flesh covers the bone
and they put a mind
in there and
sometimes a soul,
and the women break
vases against the walls
and the men drink too
much
and nobody finds the
one
but keep
looking
crawling in and out
of beds.
flesh covers
the bone and the
flesh searches
for more than
flesh.
there’s no chance
at all:
we are all trapped
by a singular
fate.
nobody ever finds
the one.
the city dumps fill
the junkyards fill
the madhouses fill
the hospitals fill
the graveyards fill
nothing else
fills.
—
Alone With Everybody by Charles Bukowski
in the world between worlds
where the shimmering abstract
holds all the secrets within us
words are absent
no scripture exists
there are no definitions
as there is no need for such things
in our eternal knowing
we are ever-being known
the mystic colors of God fill us
unseeable in this earthly realms obscured vision
they hold us there
where we don’t need to be understood
or understand anything
we are simply
all we could ever hope to be
we are the lover and the beloved
eternal love
eternally loved
complete
You in I
I in you
one
until the scab scraping
demand of this waking earth
this illusion glazed moment we choose to serve
pulls us completely blinded
into a day in a life
pushes us ass-backward
into the harsh reality
of jaded time
of hard-earned, hard-learned experience
of continually disappointed expectation
of broken hearts, once tender
of broken dreams, once beautiful
broken everything, once whole and healthy
and instead of fighting for our very lives,
we put away our dreaming space,
as if it were somehow the wrong
we decide we’ve learned the truth –
that love hurts –
though what we’ve learned is trickery –
because true love sets us free
and so we surrender to
the soul-sucking zombie apocalypse of our addictions,
our chosen favored forms of slavery
as the children of chattel always do
not knowing our vast worth
our royal bloodline
our supreme destiny
we clothe ourselves in useless, flimsy armor
our only known defense.
we use fools gold
cheap drug store variety,
Madison avenue, false-advertisement protection,
these rabbits feet of proclaimed luck,
these traps of anger, arrogance and pride,
against the barbarian onslaught
of what we have been brainwashed to accept
as important
the carnivorous eating of our flesh
by the demands of our own complex making
focused only on our foolish collecting of silly objects,
overrated treasures and pleasures
as we ignore our need for love
choosing instead to battle
the cannibals salivating at every corner
waiting for us to stumble and weaken
so they can take our place at the top of the illusive list
of whatever sort
we have entered into
as our arena of competition
eventually they will toast to their victories over us
with our own fresh, falling blood
pouring from the golden goblets we ourselves had taken from another
we accept it as normal
as we attend to the business of forgetting
who we are
pretending to be full
as we starve to death
in order to get just a little bit more than those waiting
for what will never satisfy any of us
lusting for salt
even as we faint from dehydration
we live, lonely, in empty mansions
forgetting all that makes a house glow
is the home light burning inside of our other to warm our bones
in order to impress those who will never truly know us, love us, or want our best to be honored
in order to arrive at the end of our hourglass
dragging what we will not be able take with us…
we trade our chance to be truly remarkable
to create singular intimacy
we see our chance to find gardens of happiness,
to build something as mind boggling as the seven wonders,
and we choose to ignore it
as we continue on.
too busy, too consumed,
to stop for a moment,
just one moment,
to take off our shoes,
fall down and worship…
to allow the lover into our heart –
as though love isn’t important enough for the likes of us
why do we go about wasting our opportunity here?
how can we awaken to the highest and best within ourselves?
how can we choose to lay our hearts bare in vulnerability?
how can we empty the deepest motes of fear and isolation?
why do we trade love for ash?
why would we ever do such a thing?
why?
Let us return again to where we began…
the joyous place of our belonging
to the passion and wild danger inside our freedom loving hearts
children on Christmas morning
full of sheer wonder and excitement
at the beauty of who we are
passionately in love with our created uniqueness
the fullest colors of our self unleashed
living worship eternally under vast blue skies
shining from our highest place,
with the extreme audacity,
the sheer wonder and glory
of our calling as love
pure love
I in you
You in I
as we
the many
become
the one
💞
Amy Lloyd (AL)
Many of us seek that which we will flee if we find it. I have seen this time and again, both in myself and in others. We seek, we search, and then we find a calling or a relationship that is a perfect reflection of our yearning and we turn away and go back to seeking, almost as though the light of our true-path was too bright for us, too vulnerable for us, too real for us. This is a pattern that we have to recognize and heal or else we will never stop looking for what is already there. True-path is not always around the next corner. Sometimes it’s right under our feet…
🛤
Jeff Brown
Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence.
~Erich Fromm
what if?
Let’s remake the world with words.
Not frivolously, nor
To hide from what we fear,
But with a purpose.
Let’s,
As Wordsworth said, remove
“The dust of custom” so things
Shine again, each object arrayed
In its robe of original light.
And then we’ll see the world
As if for the first time.
As once we gazed at the beloved
Who was gazing at us.
🌎
Untitled [“Let’s remake the world with words”] by Gregory Orr
what if you tried something new?
what if you just threw away the rule book and trusted your gut?
what if you allowed someone in to help you, even for a minute?
what if you stopped defending your territory and absorbed some love?
what if you decided to let unexpeted things be the right timing?
what if you created a world where everybody belonged?
what if it’s really just about finding beauty and allowing beauty to find us?
what if you saw that no one is more valuable than another?
what if you knew, for sure, you are royal, and so am I?
what if you treated everyone you encounter with that assumption?
what if, every single time you wanted to, you made the phone call?
what if, every time you didn’t want to, you didn’t?
what if you began doing all the things you are dreaming of today?
what if these things simple things are all that truly matters?
what if the future of the world hangs on this iridescent string wrapped loosely around your wrist?
what if you leave for the next great adventure tomorrow, on this earth, or beyond?
what if you ask yourself these things every morning,
out in that field beyond right and wrong?
🌳
Amy Lloyd (AL)
getting to know me, myself & I
Spending time with myself
a day apart
alone
(sort of….I’m never really alone)
I sing my soul
I confront my blocks
I challenge my status quo
I confront my ambivalence
I shake the foundations of my acceptance
I shatter long shadows of my shame
I resolve erroneous stories
I let go of my need to stay the same
I enter my griefs
I accept my feelings
I forgive my failures
I write my treasures
I talk to my people
I connect with the world beyond my knowledge
I laugh…just because
I move into new freedom
I express my thanks
I smile and smile because of you
the sheer ecstasy that you are my friend (humming a little tune here)
Then I keep letting you go and letting you go
I destroy expectations
I combust my wanting
I celebrate my freedom
I explore how it will feel to have a structure
my structure
a home of my own
that important moment
I delve into my desire for a circle of true accountability
I call into being this right time for like minded friendships
responsibility in its highest and best format
I rise to meet my new
I give away my longing for the familiar
I slash the tires of my comfort zone
I conjure magic
all kinds of magic
I walk into this new room
the theatre of my making
hung with velvet curtains
the colors are mystic and navy blue
I am ready
I am willing
to bear this new badge
of courage
to assume the custom role
only I can fill
to step into these shoes…
designed just for me…
I love new shoes…(happy sigh)
central player of this fabulous life
I’ve been given
for this very time and place
I walk center stage
content with my integrity
proud of my accomplishments
prouder still of my strength of doing right
doing the hard things
of my open heart
my truth-filled speaking
which, sometimes,
brings silence to the room
I have done the work
I am prepared to preform
my calling is sure
leaving everything else far behind me
I saddle up
I put my game face on (Michael Phelps Style)
grace drips down my back
puddling around my feet
love clouds surround my going
like dust clouds of glory
keeping pace with my steps (Pigpen shout out)
I acknowledge the truth
I didn’t want to be here
hopes illusion lay dead
I didn’t know how I could go on
I challenged my very existence
I refused to save myself (I acknowledge my own sheer foolish audacity and ruthless trusting of Love)
and in doing so
I, somehow, saved myself
arose on the wings of the glorious morning
I bow to your wisdom
I thank you for this moment
this day of acknowledgement
this touch
this state of being just so
this satisfaction of discord
this testimony of salvation
this pilgrimage of miracle
this pathway of true glory
this victory of faith
this resolution of the awkward
this life of waterfall grace
the lighting bolts of my own thoughts
the thundering intensity of my own worded quotes
hanging chad of my living
scale of justice balancing in my favor
karma smiles at this boomerang harvest of goodness
this resurrection of Phoenix
rising and rising (there should be birdsong here)
this burning bush of unrelenting passion
all this is
just me myself
burning away
stripping away
chipping away
throwing away
breaking away
continual discovery
uncovering
excavating
reclaiming
becoming
I AM
All is well (shhh…do you hear the fireworks here?)
🔥
Amy Lloyd (AL)
the space between breaths
All that you touch, you change. All that you change, changes you.
– Octavia E. Butler
fierce surrender
relentlessly engaged
In a loud and howling world, it’s in the silence of a broken heart that the chambers of you can hear the sound of God speaking. It’s in the emptiness that happens in the wake of a broken heart, that God fills you with Himself.
Soundlessly, relentlessly praying through your spaces of brokenness makes the heart bigger, until you hold the gift of God alone.
I memorize the white of the moon. Freeze frame the Farmer grinning in the white light of it there on the tractor seat, the peak of his feed cap pulled low over his face. We get to inhale. We get to live every day like it might be our last —- because one of these days, we’re guaranteed to be right.
We get to surrender to the glory, to the weight of it coming through the thinning sky, and there’s nothing in this world that’s normal — there’s only growing blind to the glory. There’s only growing blind to the injustice, to the blood on our own hands, to the love we could make, to the One who says, “Holy Father, keep them in Your name…. —- that they may be one, even as we are one” (John 17:11) to the truth that we all belong to one another. It’s the cynics who wear armour to shield the heart from all this beauty that wounds.
You are perishable here.
Taste the moments accordingly.
Taste the space between every breath like it is bread, the space between the stars where you and he are just for now, the space between you and faces you love and being here no more, the spaces between the pain, between you and streets of grief, between you and injustice and war and mothers cradling their babies in fear, and learn to love before it’s too late. I need to etch that into me.
You are perishable here, Taste the moments accordingly —
You get to decide whether you are going to taste it, all of it and know that God is good and enjoy Him and make your life about others tasting His goodness too.
You get to decide whether you’re going to spend your one life trying to make an impression and look good — or make a difference and do good.
You don’t get long here before you get to be a memory — so make your life about getting thirsty people glasses of water.
💧
– Ann Voskamp
blog: aholyexperience.com
Isaiah 6
There were banks of candles flickering in the distance and clouds of incense thickening the air with holiness and stinging his eyes, and high above him, as if it had always been there but was only now seen for what it was (like a face in the leaves of a tree or a bear among the stars), there was the Mystery Itself, whose gown was the incense and the candles a dusting of gold at the hem. There were winged creatures shouting back and forth the way excited children shout to each other when dusk calls them home, and the whole vast, reeking place started to shake beneath his feet like a wagon going over cobbles, and he cried out, “O God, I am done for! I am foul of mouth and the member of a foul-mouthed race. With my own two eyes I have seen him. I’m a goner and sunk.” Then one of the winged things touched his mouth with fire and said, “There, it will be all right now,” and the Mystery Itself said, “Who will it be?” and with charred lips he said, “Me,” and Mystery said “Go.”
Mystery said, “Go give the deaf hell till you’re blue in the face and go show the blind heaven till you drop in your tracks, because they’d sooner eat ground glass than swallow the bitter pill that puts roses in the cheeks and a gleam in the eye. Go do it.”
Isaiah said, “Do it till when?”
Mystery said, “Till hell freezes over.”
Mystery said, “Do it till the cows come home.”
And that is what a prophet does for a living and, starting from the year that King Uzziah died, when he saw and heard all these things, Isaiah went and did it.
🔥
~ Frederick Buechner originally published in Peculiar Treasures and later in Beyond Words
What is your unrelenting passion?
My Beloved said, “My name is not complete without yours.”
And I thought, How could a human’s worth ever be such?
And God knowing all of our thoughts, and all our thoughts are just innocent steps on the path, then addressed my heart.
God revealed a sublime truth to the world when He sang
“I am made whole by your life. Each soul, each soul completes Me.”
– Hafiz
the practice of saying no
There’s the thing I shouldn’t do
and yet, and now I have
the rest of the day to
make up for, not
undo, that can’t be done
but next time,
think more calmly,
breathe, say here’s a new
morning, morning,
morning,
(though why would that
work, it isn’t even
hidden, hear it in there,
more, more,
more?)
❓
Resolution by Lia Purpura
repeat over and over…
wicked surprises of the call
God goes out for whiskey Friday night,
Staggers back Monday morning
Empty-handed, no explanation.
After three nights of not sleeping,
Three nights of listening for
His footsteps, His mules sliding
Deftly under my bed, I stand
At the stove, giving him my back,
Wearing the same tight, tacky dress, same slip,
Same seamed stockings I’d put on before He left.
He leans on the kitchen table, waiting
For me to make him His coffee.
I watch the water boil,
Refuse to turn around,
Wonder how to leave Him.
Woman, He slurs, when have I ever done
What you wanted me to do?
❓❓❓❓
Reason by Robin Coste Lewis
Get off my back, God.
Take your claws out of my shoulder.
I’d like to throw you off
like I would brush off some particularly repellent insect!
Sometimes I get the feeling that if I could turn round
quick enough
I would see you
grinning at me,
full of glee, plotting, scheming, devious, challenging
The hell with all this stuff about fire and storm
and still, quiet waters.
I’ve got your number.
I’ve unmasked you.
I’d like to throw you off
like I would brush off some
particularly repellent insect.
You’re a daemon!
Unfortunately, you seem to have this great attachment
to me.
Actually, being honest, I know in my heart
I’d miss you if you weren’t there,
leering at me, reminding me of death and dread and destiny,
winding me up and puncturing
my pretensions.
I know, with a sinking feeling in my gut
that all the best of me
– the fire and storm,
and even, now and then, still waters,
are born out of the death-defying struggle
that we wage,
my dearest daemon.
💪🏻
Wresting With God by Kathy Galloway
I didn’t ask for this,
did I?
in fact, I believe I tried to block it,
avoid it at all costs.
But here I am feeling
outta sorts,
facing my bittersweet days.
Wondering where the hell
this is gonna take me?
What is my purpose here?
here,
where I lived my experiment for 5 years?
here,
what was taken
now returns,
and I am not sure what to do with it…
light it up
or
burn it down?
all I know is this is the place
I have been called to
at this moment
for only God knows what,
and He’s not talking,
hasn’t shown his face in weeks.
I must rely on this silly sliver of a promise,
that it is meant for my good
– somehow,
someway.
Any-hoo,
Trust is a ruthless business,
an extreme proposition to live.
I am not leaning to my own understanding,
or natural desires,
even a bitty-bit,
or I definitely wouldn’t be right here
– right now
or anytime in the future.
Yet here I am,
standing on this holiest of my profane grounds,
way out in the back forty
of thecomfort zone,
knowing beyond knowing,
I’m in the only place
I’m supposed to be
right now.
This is where the magic happens.
🌎
Amy Lloyd (AL)
God wants to encounter you with His love, so you can become a light everywhere you go, your life will shout to the world, ‘I’ve seen Him, I’ve felt Him. I’ve heard His voice. He is alive. He is here with us. In us. For us.’
life: acoustic & amplified 