Shrive: to hear a confession;
to impose penance; to grant absolution.
Shrove Tuesday, our fifth snowstorm
in as many weeks.
In three feet of snow,
plowed shoulder deep beside the roads,
along the driveways,
we confess that we are human,
that we are weary,
the streets lined with quadriplegic cars,
that we are small, dependent, fragile.
The knife wind comes down on us
where we are tender.
We confess our bondage
to the narrow paths we’ve dug,
and keep digging.
Winter swallows our voices, erases speech;
our chanting shovels confess
we are not masters.
The silver sun hears us,
assures us straightening between shovelfuls
that we are not evil,
merely afraid,
and notes how much of our snow
is now in our neighbor’s driveway.
The strangeness so oddly transforming our streets,
the need, the hardship
tempt us inward, swirling winds,
but beckon us to reconcile, to accept,
to bond, to help.
We shovel toward each other.
The crow and the fox
who also shiver bear our absolution:
we too belong, and carry out penance
for being human
in labor and toil.
Shriven under mounds of baptismal white,
we are not judged.
This is not punishment,
just life,
that we must shovel.
We, unaccustomed to courage
exiles from delight
live coiled in shells of loneliness
until love leaves its high holy temple
and comes into our sight
to liberate us into life.
Love arrives
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.
Yet if we are bold,
love strikes away the chains of fear
from our souls.
We are weaned from our timidity
In the flush of love’s light
we dare be brave
And suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet it is only love
which sets us free.
Love’s Exquisite Freedom by Maya Angelou
Not a red rose or a satin heart.
I give you an onion.
It is a moon wrapped in brown paper.
It promises light
like the careful undressing of love.
Here.
It will blind you with tears
like a lover.
It will make your reflection
a wobbling photo of grief.
I am trying to be truthful.
Not a cute card or a kissogram.
I give you an onion.
Its fierce kiss will stay on your lips,
possessive and faithful
as we are,
for as long as we are.
Take it.
Its platinum loops shrink to a wedding-ring,
if you like.
Lethal.
Its scent will cling to your fingers,
cling to your knife.
Valentine by Carol Ann Duffy
Stop trying to change someone who doesn’t want to change. Stop giving chances to someone who abuses your forgiveness. Stop walking back to the place where your heart ran from. Stop trusting their words and ignoring their actions. Stop breaking your own HEART. — Unknown
I am always amazed at the layers,
the levels, of the human experience.
The never ending,
ever evolving, devolving,
shifting, opening,
illumination, illusion-revealing,
conviction shattering, my gospel truth challenging,
deep calling to deep, border breaking,
darkness, light and color discovering, re-discovering.
This way of living I have stumbled onto – not because I’m so smart –
because I was given a priceless gift.
This surprising path
of a pilgrim,
of spiritual growth,
baby stepping my way to
healing, learning,
opening, Mystery,
always more.
Always re-defining the definitions
of love, abundance,
grace, healing,
truth, error,
good, evil,
joy, suffering,
prosperity, poverty,
spirit, spirituality,
life itself becoming more with each step.
My self righteousness becoming filthy rags
with every glimpse of my Creator, my Savior.
Sometimes I understand how Peter must have felt when he saw the great sheet of unclean animals come down before him.
When God asked him to kill and eat,
He, challenged with those same words I have heard from heaven –
“What I have named clean do not proclaim unclean.”
Challenging, very challenging, stuff.
The stuff of humility and opening.
Life changing-giving stuff.
We want to think we know, that we are right.
We want approval, to be able to judge.
We want to earn our way, be worthy.
It will never work. Thankfully.
Then we catch a tiny glimpse and we fall on our knees,
breathless, undone,
aware of our need, our misplaced vanity,
stripped of our pride…our shoes,
amazed by what we have encountered, changed forever, always beloved,
full, yet ever thirsty for more – God…
I was walking in the forest
I was feeling all alone
The birds and bees were sleeping,
the weeping willow weeping
Then I heard a little creature
Start moving oh so slow
and the little brook began to play
music with its toes
the woodpecker was keeping time
upon that tall oak tree
and I could not help start dancing
cause I knew it was for me
and as I whirled and twirled about
I came upon a log
where the beaver and the otter
were acting more like hogs
and then they each began to croon
they’re words were oh so rare
I stood there for a moment
my foot still in the air
and they sang to me…
You otter know I love you
loved you from the start
(well, if you’ll beaver me
then I’ll beaver you
You never walk alone)
You otter know I love you
love your precious heart
(well, beaver me it’s true
I’ve always loved you
You’re never far from home)
and the band it just kept playing
and my happy heart did gasp
Cause this was so much better
than that silly talking a**
uhhh donkey
Then my heart it felt so happy
and my eyes at last could see
That though I hadn’t been aware
You’d never once left me
and as I danced on down that path
I swear I sang this song
The one my friends had written,
which had been there all along
and I sang…
You otter know I love you
loved you from the start
(if you’ll beaver me
then I’ll beaver you
You never walk alone)
You otter know I love you
love your precious heart
(beaver me it’s true
I’ve always loved you
You’re never far from home
So as I must now end this tale
I want you all to see
that I am not so special
you’re just as loved as me
So come along don’t hesitate
hurry up, don’t wait
just find the groove
dance all day long
help me sing our song…
You otter know I love you
loved you from the start
(if you’ll beaver me
then I’ll beaver you
You never walk alone)
You otter know I love you
love your precious heart
(beaver me it’s true
I’ve always loved you
You’re never far from home
ACL 2/5/15
Ephesians 1:4
Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.
New Living Translation
The Empire of God has no headquarters,
nor will there be a Final Battle.
God’s desire is more than saving selected souls:
it is the healing of the nations,
the mending of the whole world.
But there is no Situation Room
from which this campaign is directed.
The Spirit of healing and compassion,
the work of redemption and justice
is done in every little village and town.
Every heart is the center of the movement.
Every life, every act—your life, this day—
is where Christ works.
It is for this that you were born;
“that is what you came out to do.”
You don’t need to do great miracles.
The world is transformed in very small bits,
village by village, one moment at a time.
You are the message.
__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light http://www.unfoldinglight.net
in an imperfect world helplessness, acceptance and surrender are the defining words of love
What happens when things turn upside down?
It’s funny you should ask
I’ve spent my lifetime finding out
Some answers to just that-
An umbrella becomes a birdbath
A hat becomes a bowl
A plate can get quite messy
If it’s loaded up with food
like meatloaf and potatoes
and lots of gravy too
An opossums probably acting dead
A fish may really be
A gorilla stays a gorilla
‘butt’ It’s quite the sight to see
North is South
and South is North
polar opposites
the mirror now reflects my feet
where my teeth used to be
The cloud’s all silver lining
The rainbow’s now a smile
The floor becomes the ceiling
The ceiling’s now a floor
And when my life turned upside down
Then certain things came clear
How little some things mattered
How other things were dear
How difficult to show my heart
Important though it is
How much it costs to sing my songs
Though for them, do I live
There’s so much more to tell you
and I’ll try share it all
in hopes if you turn upside down
You’re ready for the fall
It’s really very simple
though very hard to see
That living upside down
Is the best that life can be
cause He said:
3 “Blessed are those who have nothing to bring,
for they will be owning the kingdom.
4 Blessed are those with the most broken of hearts,
comfort and love they are given.
5 Blessed are those who choose to be gentle,
they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who seek me with passion,
they will be feasting in fashion.
7 Blessed are the forgivers,
for they will be those forgiven.
8 Blessed are those who have gone through the fire,
for they will fly high from the pyre.
9 Blessed are the ones who march in peace,
for they will be called God’s children.
10 Blessed are those who do hard things, who speak the truth of God they have experienced in the face of losing family and friends,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 Blessed are you when people insult you, treat you bad, lie about you and spread gossip about you because of what you speak.
12 Be happy, filled with joy and gladness, because great is your reward in heaven, you aren’t alone. It’s always been hard for those who color outside the lines, who walk around upside down and let their guts show….*
I don’t claim to understand it
It makes no sense at all
Yet I can’t deny the way I’m blessed
By following this call
ACL 2/4/15
* my interpretation of The Beatitudes found in Matthew 5: 1-12
Next to grace, I bet God thinks making us need each other was one of his best ideas.
– Bob Goff
There’s this progressive shedding that has happened as I walk into my own being. Being responsible for ONLY my own life is an ever challenging, evolving process.
Several years ago, much to my surprise, I found some people just didn’t like me. No real reason even, just a vibrant dislike vibe when I walked in. I am super sensitive and my nature is to want to be liked. Yup, I’m a giant people pleaser! My progress has evolved over years of learning, and is still a work in process.
Many years ago I would twist myself into weird shapes and do anything to make the other like me, then I slowly learned to allow it to be and not prove myself, or force anything. It has been a gradual, sometimes extremely painful, learning.
Parallel to that, there has been this great and mighty internal work going on, and as I have shed yesterday and baby-step by baby-step learned tiny, mind blowing truths about what love really looks like, I have also been growing into my own voice.
It’s a rather unexpected thing for me, it’s scary and challenging, and yet essential for me to step into my calling. my purpose here.
I am being called to share my experiences in walking this path. Called to be vulnerable and speak as myself. Now, when people don’t like me, I can’t fully say, ‘Well, they really don’t know me at all. They haven’t encountered the real me’, because, more and more of myself is becoming visible.
I feel very alone. I feel unprepared. I feel unworthy. I feel I’m not good enough. I feel afraid of many things, rejection is one of the biggies.
What I know for sure is…none of these feelings matter. This is bigger than me and I cannot say no. What I have gained is too valuable not to share.
Anyway, this has come out different and longer than I expected when I started writing. I am crying so I know it is what I need to say.
I just ask you to pray for me.
If you are reading this, you are a fellow pilgrim. Thank you for sharing this moment on path with me.
As we say in Kentucky to friends as we go our separate ways for a moment, ‘Ya’ll come see us soon, don’t be a stranger.’
Nothing I have ever done or will ever do
can separate me from
or bring me into the heart of the Beloved.
Oh, I can distract myself from the longing
that whispers day and night for that sacred union,
and some days I am too tired to notice
that what I ache for is and always has been here:
. . . . right here in and at my fingertips,
in the way the breeze lifts my hair,
the way the earth pulls me to her,
the way shared laughter makes my sides ache.
Nothing I have done or will ever do
can make me worthy or unworthy
of being touched by the Lover’s hand and heart,
of being the Lover’s hand and heart in the world.
Grace – the way Infinite Love
gives Himself to us in every moment
the way God unfurls Her tender mercy in our hearts
is a constant invitation to say with the fullness of our being:
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
…everyone is involved, whether they like it or not, in the construction of their world. So, it’s never as given as it actually looks; you are always shaping it and building it. And I feel that from that perspective, that each of us is an artist. Secondly, I believe that everyone has imagination. That no matter how mature and adult and sophisticated a person might seem, that person is still essentially an ex-baby. And as children, we all lived in an imaginal world. You know, when you’ve been told don’t cross that wall, because there’s monsters over there, my god, the world you would create on the other side of the wall.
– John O’Donohue http://www.onbeing.org/program/inner-landscape-beauty/transcript/1125
King Lear
THERE WOULD BE a strong argument for saying that much of the most powerful preaching of our time is the preaching of the poets, playwrights, novelists because it is often they better than the rest of us who speak with awful honesty about the absence of God in the world and about the storm of his absence, both without and within, which, because it is unendurable, unlivable, drives us to look to the eye of the storm. I think of King Lear especially with its tragic vision of a world in which the good and the bad alike go down to dusty and, it would seem, equally meaningless death with no God to intervene on their behalf, and yet with its vision of a world in which the naked and helpless ones, the victims and fools, become at least truly alive before they die and thus touch however briefly on something that lies beyond the power of death. It is the worldly ones, the ones wise as the world understands wisdom and strong in the way the world understands strength, who are utterly doomed. This is so much the central paradox of Lear that the whole play can be read as a gloss if not a homily on that passage in First Corinthians where Paul expresses the same paradox in almost the same terms by writing, “God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise. God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong. God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are” (1 Corinthians 1:27-28), thus pointing as Shakespeare points to the apparent emptiness of the world where God belongs and to how the emptiness starts to echo like an empty shell after a while until you can hear in it the still, small voice of the sea, hear strength in weakness, victory in defeat, presence in absence.
I think of Dostoevski in The Brothers Karamazov when the body of Alyosha’s beloved Father Zossima begins to stink in death instead of giving off fragrance as the dead body of a saint is supposed to, and at the very moment where Alyosha sees the world most abandoned by God, he suddenly finds the world so aflame with God that he rushes out of the chapel where the body lies and kisses the earth as the shaggy face of the world where God, in spite of and in the midst of everything, is.
-Originally published in Telling The Truth http://m.frederickbuechner.com/
In Matthew 7:7 Jesus told us to ask, seek and Knock and the door will open. It’s written as a guarantee.
Our only responsibility is to want the door to open.
25 years ago I came to that door. I raised my hand and I knocked.
I began an adventure, which is healing my life and has lead me right here. I have found that the secret to curing both my insecurity and my arrogance is to seek who God is – and I have come to be humbly aware that even my seeking is because He sought me first and the ability to want Him, somehow comes from His wanting me.
My relationship with Love (because God = Love) has steadily changed and grown, as has my awareness of the mystery, magnitude and wonder of who He is.
Along the pathway I have been granted the tiniest of mind-blowing glimpses, which are almost more than I can comprehend. They always take my breath away and I stagger when fiery glory becomes visible, as only God can reveal, because only a moment before it looked to me like another ordinary bush. These glimpses always reveal the ridiculousness of my own desire for self-importance, and free me to release any need for performance or perfection.
As I have discovered grace, I see just how little this great God needs me, or you – but, oh, how much He wants me and you! It is the desire of God to know and be known by us and He was willing to become helpless and give His very life to enter into that intimacy we call relationship. We are each His most beloved and as I began the journey of accepting myself, warts and all, as truly loved and worthy of belonging, I find I can also love you, with your warts, as I do myself.
These things blow my mind, This great love pours over me and gives me courage and passion. It allows me to share myself, my life and songs with you. I believe it is the only thing that could possibly allow someone like me to fall so deeply in love that I lay aside my personal desires, to become transparent and vulnerable, willing to endure the shame of the cross of Christ. I surrender to a plan I really can’t even understand, much less have any control over, yet know for certain is so much more valuable than I could ever even imagine!
Every day, I am surprised to find myself here. I am the most unlikely pilgrim ever, and I gratefully think about these strange things and say, along with every other person who has ever experienced this amazing love,
WHO AM I, that You would love someone like me? I am not much, but I am yours, please help me be all You have created me to be, take me, use me. Your will be done on earth as in heaven. Yes, here am I, send me.
ACL 1/14/15
God does not change, but He uses change—to change us. He sends us on journeys that bring us to the end of ourselves. We often feel out of control, yet if we embrace His leading, we may find ourselves on the ride of our lives.
– Jen Hatmaker
life: acoustic & amplified 