plunges us under the dark icy water of yesterday’s pain
the sensitive places choke us
we allow old wounds to be reopened
by new innocents
replay
rewind
again and again
life is not always kind
love is not always given a chance to bloom
buds crushed early
unicorns are tricky
yeti never let themselves be fully seen
or photographed
quickly disappearing into the foggy forest
yes, truth is written by those in the know:
“it is ours to win or lose”
so, what will we choose?
to step in or duck out?
some people love to talk loud about the desire to win
then secretly, swiftly throw the game
and silently walk away
thinking they are playing life safe
fear is a brutal master
comfort-zones will kill us all
though we’ll keep
breathing for many years
trust is a deep quarry hidden within
the high walls of the castle
each kingdom must be won
the beast slain by our courageous spirit
removing the massive heads of the monsters
with the found sword of our personal truths
Envision holding those fearful grotesque trophies aloft!
Stepping into your full name!
Champion
Conquerer
Love always wins!
You must choose it!
You can do it,
were born that way!
Amy Lloyd (AL)
All my life, I thought of love as some kind of voluntary enslavement. Well, that’s a lie: freedom only exists when love is present. The person who gives him or herself wholly, the person who feels freest, is the person who loves most wholeheartedly.
― Paulo Coelho
Read that again:
All my life, I thought of love as some kind of voluntary enslavement. Well, that’s a lie: freedom only exists when love is present. The person who gives him or herself wholly, the person who feels freest, is the person who loves most wholeheartedly.
― Paulo Coelho
and we burn as we adjust to this new space of being
the grieving takes us into different,
often difficult, spaces
where we get to (ok, have to) do a new thing
this is where life can reveal our best,
or worst,
because, it’s always our choice!
My wish for us is that
this becomes a beautiful foundation
to rebuild our new ships –
the latest and greatest in technological wonders –
the kind which will catch the best wind
to take us to the next adventure
for which we set sail!
Where our very lives become
our grandest home ever!
The best is always yet to be!
⛵️
Amy Lloyd (AL)
aka The Oracle of Hope & Happiness
When there has been too much pain, we often forget that we have the built-in capacity to move through it to another state. The Divine gave us tears to be cried, the capacity to express our anger, a vast range of emotional devices that, when healthily unleashed and expressed, can clear the toxicity out of us, and lead us to lessons of self-love at the heart of them. In our authentic vulnerability lies our greatest power—the power to re open our hearts after loss and disappointment. The idea that feeling the pain gives power to those who have hurt us is completely wrong. Feeling the pain is an act of self-empowerment and the only way to make a break from the prison of repressed emotions. Reach inside and unlock the door…
Falling in love
It’s an ending no tale wants to tell
Girl and boy
Drifting farther
And farther apart
Now she lives in the house of broken dreams
pictures fade
Time stands still
All the shadows standing in their places
Cracks appear
Clock feebly striking on through the gloom
As the tears fall down her face
It’s all just the way it all was then
Just the same as the day when life broke
30 years ago
although lots of things have gathered
into every available surface and corner
Dust falls down
Settling on fading glitter
Grime on glass
Fogging up the window panes
mold grows free
covering years of freeform piles
She still smiles that painted smile
You can’t see the lonely spaces
when you meet her on the street
Life moves on and on without her
It’s illusion that you see
Because she lives in the house of broken dreams
pictures fade
Time stands still
All the shadows standing in their places
Cracks appear
Clock strikes weakly at each hour
As the tears fall down her face
It’s the ending no reader wants to read
Girl and boy
Drifting farther
And farther apart
until he leaves
and she fights
to get something she can keep forever
as she always dreamed it would be
Never letting go
Never moving on
It’s the hardest part
Nobody wants to read this ending
This extreme dirty secret behind estate gates
stone lions eternally guarding
heartbreak frozen in time
hoarding only she can stop
💨
Amy Lloyd (AL)
If you have a dream, don’t just sit there. Gather courage to believe that you can succeed and leave no stone unturned to make it a reality.
– Roopleen
“I have a firm belief in this now, not only in terms of my own experience, but in knowing the experiences of other people. When you follow your bliss, and by bliss I mean the deep sense of being in it, and doing what the push is out of your own existence—it may not be fun, but it’s your bliss and there’s bliss behind pain too.
“You follow that and doors will open where there were no doors before, where you would not have thought there’d be doors, and where there wouldn’t be a door for anybody else.
“. . . And so I think the best thing I can say is to follow your bliss. If your bliss is just your fun and your excitement, you’re on the wrong track. I mean, you need instruction. Know where your bliss is. And that involves coming down to a deep place in yourself.”
Joseph Campbell, “The Hero’s Journey”
too convinced that ‘nothing can be done’ to brave self responsibility
too comfortable to say no to that monster keeping us chained to the weakest parts of ourselves
the bullsh** of wasted lives
the emptiness of wasting time
the cruel decisions of men drowning
the hopes of the weak trampled
the tragedy of the parental misguidance
ingrained foundations
the travesty of religion
gone wrong
it happens so often
doctrine and old false belief systems
becoming the
masters of deceit filled lives
rather than the servant
of love
oh soul arise and fight
break up the hallowed ground of the falsified truth
oh, my friend, take back your life
open the beautiful box
of your most vulnerable, passionate essence
the pope will never take your case
your parents will never grant permission
but then again,
why would you want them too?
This is your life!
Only you can stand for what is given you
take that buried coffin
out of the ground
plant a seed or two inside
No one else can do it for you
or take it away from you
just you
you can never be too sensitive
you already know the real truth
celebrate yourself
flaunt your true colors
they’re so very beautiful
remember to remember
only love is real
💞
Amy Lloyd (AL)
Help Me
As they’re used psychologically, words like repression, denial, sublimation, and defense all refer to one form or another of the way human beings erect walls to hide behind, both from each other and from themselves. You repress the memory that is too painful to deal with, say. You deny your weight problem. You sublimate some of your sexual energy by channeling it into other forms of activity more socially acceptable. You conceal your sense of inadequacy behind a defensive bravado. And so on and so forth. The inner state you end up with is a castle-like affair of keep, inner wall, outer wall, and moat, which you erect originally to be a fortress to keep the enemy out, but which turns into a prison where you become the jailer and thus your own enemy. It is a wretched and lonely place. You can’t be what you want to be there or do what you want to do. People can’t see through all that masonry to who you truly are, and half the time you’re not sure you can see who you truly are yourself, you’ve been walled up so long.
Fortunately there are two words that offer a way out, and they’re simply these: “Help me.” It’s not always easy to say them-you have your pride after all, and you’re not sure there’s anybody you trust enough to say them to-but they’re always worth saying. To another human being-a friend, a stranger? To God? Maybe it comes to the same thing.
Help me. They open a door through the walls, that’s all. At least hope is possible again. At least you’re no longer alone.
~ Frederick Buechner
originally published in Whistling in the Dark and later in Beyond Words
Living systems never really settle down.
– John Holland
We were only to sleep for a short while.
Words stuck in thick layers , they are there and then they are gone …and the fire burns day and night…like some drift wood set a blaze on a lonely hill.
Not many know the fire…not many know the Way…
but that fire keeps setting the sun to blaze; Spirit beats within the body and pages are blank…
It is everything, and it is nothing.
Spirit empties one to naked longing, then traps the soul in a loving embrace.
Vowed to live it’s days on earth, as it is in heaven…
Soul , human body with mystery and mayhem…
With preoccupation with the Holy; with adoration won…with words that ache to be heard but have no expression in this realm…
Veil once torn…eye filled with Light…
Worlds riding within worlds…glances, witness, wonders.
The madness that comes, when you know God,
Come back on a black horse, for the fire will chase all the others away.
Ride like the wind, knowing nothing at all….and living the Fire.
Beauty,
Donna Knutson
Above the ground after a brief silence
they resume their war
before they are even out of the graveyard,
climbing over each other
trying to save their own lives,
clawing at some unseen soil above them,
while beneath he rests in peace,
where, after all, we each long to be,
borne to our resting ground,
cherished and at peace,
soon and very soon.
Could I slip beneath the grass
One of the greatest mistakes we make in this life, I think, is losing hope when we don’t get what we want RIGHT AWAY. It takes time to do anything that matters—to change, to learn to love, to build a business or grow a child or grow into ourselves.
—
Sadly, too many of us (myself included) lose heart when we don’t see results RIGHT THIS MINUTE.
—
And when we lose hope, we lose everything.
—
Hope is not this fluffy thing we sometimes think it is. Hope is dangerous. It’s radical. When we hope, we take a tremendous risk, waiting and waking our hearts to something that we know full well may never come to fruition. There are no guarantees in this life. We do not have 100% control.
—
Hope hurts. If it doesn’t hurt, it isn’t hope.
—
And yet I am learning what it means to take LONG view. As I look back over the past 33 years of my life, I realize most of the things I have hoped for have taken DECADES to grow into themselves. It takes a LONG, LONG TIME for things to make sense.
—
Hope trusts the process—that even if we don’t get the thing we want right away, the story is not over. It’s not completely written.
—
Hope is steadfast and unwavering. It keeps going and gong and going.
—
Whatever you’re waiting for, hoping for, wishing for, don’t give up. Keep hoping. Most things don’t make sense until later. Hope is your lifeline. It is your only way home.
Did you know that whenever you feel love, you literally begin to glow? You probably did.
But did you know that the glowing is actually made up of zillions of minute sparkles? And that these sparkles receive as much energy as they create? And that because of this energy exchange you completely stop aging and look younger? Abundance is immediately drawn to you? Healing powers fill you? Muscles are strengthened, pounds are shed, and your vision improves? Lingering questions are answered? New friends are summoned? Old friends are poked? Problems are solved? And maple syrup tastes more maple-y?
All when you feel love.
It’s true,
Nor can I give you anything that is not already at your fingertips.
You have all the answers within your own Being to all of the questions you or anyone else may ask.
Each of us has enormous capacity of Being.
So what is it that we want or need from each other?
Value; We have the capacity to value ourselves and in doing so we set our own value.
Companionship; We experience companionship with others to the capacity that we have companionship with ourselves.
How can I understand others, if I don’t understand myself?
You reflect to me what is already within my own awareness whether I am awake to it or not.
What most of us are looking for outside of ourselves is a reflection, a mirror of what lies within us so that we can gaze upon ourselves.
As I gaze upon myself in the reflection of you
I see the beauty that hides within me
In your grief I touch on the grief I hide inside
In your laughter, laughter is ignited within me
Your Joy radiates and pierces the Joy laden in me
So that we can be in Joy
Your Spirit Unites with Mine as we gaze at Beauty emanated by a flower
This must mean that Beauty enables us to see our harmony
A harmony so perfect that nothing can escape it
As I connect to the world outside of myself it reflects me to you and you to me
We are in concert with the great symphony of the Cosmos
Infinitely expressing itself
In those special tender moments when I touch something in me gazing at you
I can hear the masterpiece sweeping us away
I can see the Vision drawing us near
I can smell the fragrance of our essence
For You Are a Part of Me and I am a Part of You
life: acoustic & amplified 