empty
Today I found myself empty
Empty of words
Empty of color
Empty of strength
Empty of empathy
Empty of ability
Empty of defenses
Empty of thoughts even.
I’ve been here many times over the years,
I understand it better now.
I rested a lot.
Did minimal work,
other than cleaning up diarrhea
and fixing meals,
I mainly stayed in bed
stayed in open, wordless, prayer –
Allowing the emptiness to be.
For five months now,
I have been giving my life force
to others, to keep them alive.
I have earned this emptiness.
I must allow myself to recharge.
I have nothing more to give at this moment.
The filling up of the emptiness
must be done carefully
and in prayer.
Tomorrow is another day.
Baby steps.
AL 10/12/13
life: acoustic & amplified 