January | 2013 | life: acoustic & amplified

Archive for the month “January, 2013”

09 Jan 2013

relaxing in the mysterious

Silence

Into the deepest darkness
Into the belly of hell
Within the circle of silence
far inside my soul
Places I’ve never seen before
Didn’t know existed
The mystery of the Spirit
Where death resides
Fearful places
Cracking open
So secret I want to flee
Afraid of this place
Am I here alone?
am I still breathing?
Now I cry with Christ,
‘My God, my God,
Why have You forsaken me?’
What if I can’t escape?
What if death wins?
I know how weak I am without You
I cannot see
As I lay beaten
finished
I get the revelation
The victory is already Yours
You were there
You are always there
The stone is slowly rolling
hopes rise
darkness trembles
death slinks around the corner
I am at the tomb door
of my own borrowed tomb
wisdom I was so sure of
yesterday
now bound tightly
discarded on the pile
to be burned
creating space
for this unnamable mystery
shaken by this devastating grace
slowly I try to stand
the pain shoots sharply
from my hip in both directions
I limp ahead
favoring the right side
I am forever changed

AL 12/23/12

the light in my hands
If I cup my hands and try to hold perfect darkness in there, it takes great effort and care. With the slightest wiggle I am apt to create some tiny crack somewhere, where the light gets in. I strain and contort my hands. I can’t actually see if the darkness is complete, if there is a little spot of light between any two fingers, so I am constantly looking, doubtful, checking, anxious, uncertain, tense.

Or I can relax and let the light in.

I can try to hold my soul just so, so that no sin enters, and feel anxious that it may happen, and awful when it does. Or I can relax and let the light in. I can trust that, yes, there are shadows, and yet light is there.

In prayer I can try to hold other things out. Or I can relax and let the light in.

That’s how we all get to heaven. God just relaxes and lets the light in.

____________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
http://www.unfoldinglight.net

Posted in attitude, awareness, Becoming Yourself, Choice, dark, Faith, find art at pinterest, Glory, Life, Love, soul and spirit | Leave a comment

08 Jan 2013

this day

I awake in the womb

Heat

Perspiration covers my clammy body

Soft fuzz sticks to my naked feet

Matted hair covers my face

I try to move

But

I don’t want to move

It’s safe here

My eyes open

Just a crack

Blur

I am drawn to the sliver of light

Calling me to begin

Drawing me to enter life

Like that first day I entered the world –

Would I have entered so easily back then

If I had known today was coming?

I lay silent dread

surrounded by sounds of life

Water swooshing through pipes

Like amniotic fluid pushing me to the threshold

dogs nails on the wood floor above
their click-clack,

like a clock
tick-tocking judgement –

Footsteps

As others start the daily routine

Here in this black dark

time is suspended

Yet I know it is morning

Even tho

I don’t want to know

Coffee –

My need for caffeine

May be my only redemption

Hot tears drip into my ears

I get up and open the door

Blinking

As the bright hits me

hard in the eyes

AL 12/3/12

Hidden Gift

I am confident that the one who began a good work in you

will bring it to completion by the day of Jesus Christ.

—Philippians 1.6

God has begun a miraculous thing in you.
Beneath the matted tangles of your unbelief,

within the brittle shell of Impossibility,
in the dark deep within you,

there it is,

a star in the velvet silence,

a seed in the hard earth,

a child in the virgin’s womb.
Give up trying to guess what’s in the package.

Let go of wanting to see it first before you accept it.

Stop pretending you’re unworthy.

It’s God’s delight to give you this gift.
Meditate on the mystery

of the secretly growing blessing within you.
Like Mary, simply say,

“May it be for me according to your Word.”

Steve Garness-Holmes
http://unfoldinglight.net/

Posted in Choice, courage, dark, Faith, find art at pinterest, Life, soul and spirit | Leave a comment

07 Jan 2013

the thin thread in the dark

The past 5 months have been some of the toughest I have ever experienced – and I have been through some tough times over these past 23 years – but the past 5 months have been brutal. They have worn me down and out. My faith has been strong and I have had miracles and amazing people come into my life to help me in every way possible, but there is something about day after day of this type of faith – walking for months in extremely difficult living, months of having no money, pain and grief from loss. Living with no relief for months on end, not knowing where you will eat or sleep next – which wears you out and drains your resources to the very last drop.

And then one day, after 127 days of this, I woke up and it was the day I had known could happen. The day I had feared would come. The day I had dreaded and tried to keep from coming. It was upon me. I woke up with no hope and all was dark. I’ve had a few such days, weeks, even months over these past years and they are some of the hardest, bleakest of times I have ever experienced. I shudder when I think about them. I wasn’t able to write, or share during those times. I would completely shut myself off and not even talk to people for the most part. When I have gone into the dark, it has been me, alone, locked into the darkness struggling to find God, to find my way forward, my way out, wrestling with the questions which have no answer. I am always concerned I won’t make it, I won’t recover, I won’t come out, I won’t have the strength to make this next choice I need to make – I will finally just give up and stay there. Everything I have hoped for, and struggled so hard for, will never be accomplished and I will die of my brokenness. This time was different, this time I had no defense and there was no more fight, no more struggle.

Somehow in the darkest of my days, I am always given some thin thread of hope. Sometimes just a whisper. A glimpse of God working. When I can’t. God does. Every time. I have found that I am never alone. God is always in the dark with me, and that is why my faith has taken over my life. I have found the love of God to be so transformative I have nothing else I can do but to remove my will so that God can, hopefully, be seen more and more –

Union with God means every bit of our human nature transfigured in Christ, woven up into his creative life and activity, into his redeeming purpose, heart soul, mind and strength. Each time it happens it means that one of God’s creatures has achieved its destiny. – Evelyn Underhill

As I move through this darness I am more and more aware of the magnitude of God. I am finding glimpses of devastating grace and am learning how little I know about the mystery and magnitude of God.

The next few days I will be sharing some insights from my place of darkness. This darkness has been a scary thing to encounter and I pray that it is the right thing to share it. This is new territory for me and I am not sure where it will lead me. My constant prayer is, ‘Help me – Not my will, but Thine be done.”

I share this to bring hope to myself, and to others who also find themselves in the darkness, it’s always easier when we walk together. Once again I have found, I do not know the answers to this mystery and we are never alone.

Posted in awareness, Becoming Yourself, Beliefs, beloved, Blessing, courage, determination, Encouragement, Faith, find art at pinterest, Gospel, Life, light, Lonely, Love, People, soul and spirit | Leave a comment

05 Jan 2013

all the way He leads me

I am leading you along a way that is uniquely right for you. The closer to Me you grow, the more fully you become your true self – the one I designed you to be. Because you are one of a kind, the path you travel with Me diverges increasingly from that of other people. However, in my mysterious wisdom and ways, I enable you to follow this solitary path while staying in close contact with others. In fact, the more completely you devote yourself to Me, the more freely you can love people.
Marvel at the beauty of a life intertwined with My Presence. Rejoice as we journey together in intimate communion. Enjoy the adventure of finding yourself through losing yourself in Me.

2 Corinthians 5:17
Ephesians 2:10
1 John 4:7-8
John 15:4

Jesus Calling
Sarah Young
December 30

Posted in Adventure, awareness, beauty, Becoming Yourself, beloved, Choice, commitment, find art at pinterest, Gospel, Life, Love, soul and spirit, thankfulness | Leave a comment

04 Jan 2013
1 Comment

the ache

“We ache to touch intimately what is real, to find the marriage of meaning & matter in our lives & in the world. We ache to feel & express the fire of being fully alive. Willing to do our creative work. . . .we add a life-sustaining breath …to the world.” ~ Oriah Mountain Dreamer from “What We Ache For: Creativity & The Unfolding of Your Soul.” There are thousands of ways to be creative today- to allow our imagination to lead us into new ways of being with what is- in a business meeting, in front of a canvas, in making a meal, in writing on the page, in walking down the street. Creativity sees the patterns we create in our days & then moves in them & with them in a new way. It is what enlivens the familiar, reroutes the habitual, opens us to seeing & making new flashes of brilliance & beauty. It is how we co-create the world. (Image is David Kracov’s breathtaking sculpture entitled The Book of Life)

http://www.oriah.org/

Posted in awareness, beauty, Becoming Yourself, beloved, Letting Go, Life, Love, Miracles, Relationships, soul and spirit

03 Jan 2013

Epiphany

The light,
and always that gentle,

the King
of love,
no weapons, laws or armies,
a tender child
who makes you tender,

what would it take for you
to empty out the treasure
of yourself
and give everything away,

what would it be like,
every moment,
even the dangerous ones,
to kneel like that?
__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
http://www.unfoldinglight.net

Posted in awareness, beloved, Blessing, Faith, find art at pinterest, giving, Gratitude, Letting Go, Life, light, Love, Patience, Prayer, receiving, soul and spirit, Vulnerability | Leave a comment

02 Jan 2013

it’s never too late to start

When you’ve trusted God and walked his way

When you’ve felt his hand lead you day by day

But your steps now take you another way…

Start over.

When you’ve made your plans and they’ve gone awry

When you’ve tried your best and there’s no more try

When you’ve failed yourself and you don’t know why…

Start over.

When you’ve told your friends what you plan to do

When you’ve trusted them and they didn’t come through

And you’re all alone and it’s up to you…

Start over.

When you’ve failed your kids and they’re grown and gone

When you’ve done your best but it’s turned out wrong

And now your grandchildren come along..

Start over.

When you’ve prayed to God so you’ll know his will

When you’ve prayed and prayed and you don’t know still

When you want to stop cause you’ve had your fill…

Start over.

When you think you’re finished and want to quit

When you’ve bottomed out in life’s deepest pit

When you’ve tried and tried to get out of it…

Start over.

When the year has been long and successes few

When December comes and you’re feeling blue

God gives a January just for you to…

Start over.

Starting over means “Victories Won”

Starting over means “A Race Well Run”

Starting over means” God’s Will Done”

Don’t just sit there…………..

START OVER.

Maritta Terrell Thoughts are also posted at:
http://thoughtsaday.blogspot.com/

Posted in attitude, awareness, Becoming Yourself, Beginning, Beliefs, beloved, Change, Choice, courage, Encouragement, Faith, find art at pinterest, Letting Go, Life, Love | Leave a comment

01 Jan 2013

Happy New Year

Posted in attitude, Beginning, Encouragement, find art at pinterest, Life, Love | Leave a comment

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