ask, seek, knock
Almost 22 years ago I asked God! I had no idea if God was real at that point. I sure didn’t see God in any of the people around me. Religion sure had no answers, and so I started on the path with a very heavy scepticism. I really had no idea of anything. I truly emptied myself, of all I had been taught all my life, and worked to challenge my thought process. I challenged and thought about everything that came into my life.
I determined only to follow what brought me peace and led me towards happiness. I knew I would make mistakes – because I had no idea what I was doing, but I determinied I would do my best to face what I did and not make those same mistakes again! I determined to take personal responsibility for my life and my actions and I started off on my experiment to find life. I was challenged to TRY to live as close to the principles I found in the words of Jesus in Matthew 5-7, The Sermon on the Mount.
It is interesting to me that over those years, when I struggled through this challenge that is humanly impossible, I struggled to feel the humanness of Jesus. I really had no idea if what I was doing was doing anything but leading me into brokenness and pain. I had to hold onto two things. The promises and hope of God, and the fact that I felt the personal, gut peace which no one else had access to. There was something bigger than what I could possible do happening! I was witnessing and aware of this. It was growing and so was my belief – no one could take away what I had seen, felt, tasted, experienced. Those miracles that came to me are more than evidence – they are my life-blood!
I now know Jesus intimately – after all I have been trying my best to live his words for the past 22 years! I KNOW HIM! I know his beautiful heart. I have lived his truth – it is my truth! LOVE!!! FREEDOM!!! RESPECT!!!! SERVE!!!
Yesterday I heard a sermon on Jesus as the Bread of life. As the crowd rejected ‘eating his flesh’ (knowing him intimately) his disciples were left alone with him. He asked them if they would leave also and Peter said, “Where would we go? You have the words of eternal life”. Yes, I echo that today. I have no where else to go – my experiment has turned out to be so much more than I ever expected. I am in love with Jesus! and it makes me glad!
I still know very little as far as the mysteries of God – I am so glad that I am not arrogant enough to think I can figure out the creator of this amazing world! I don’t worry about a lot – I am too busy falling in love, knowing the heart of love, figuring out how I can share that love with others who need it so badly!!!
life: acoustic & amplified 