life: acoustic & amplified

poetry, quotes & thoughts about life

Prayer changes….everything…

The past couple of months I have been doing a lot of thinking, reading, learning and coming to new understanding about prayer. For the next few days I will be posting some of the things I am learning.

For many years I tried to ‘pray’ in fancy ways and words. ‘Dear Lord, Thank you for your bountiful blessing…etc, etc…blah..blah…blah. I never felt like God had answered the phone. I was just leaving a voicemail. It was a little frustrating. Then my life exploded into millions of tiny fragments. For many years as I sought grace and healing my prayers were guttural. There were no words for me. There was no music for me. It was a path of such pain that the suffering was silent. There was no way to express it. Over and over my soul would cry to God, ‘help me…help me…help me…give me your strength for this moment…help me…help me…to love you and give you thanks right here in the middle of my circumstances.’ I would read Psalm chapter 37 and Matthew chapter 5-7 and cling to them.

And God has done what He promised. He gave me strength  for each moment, grace for the journey, hope for my future, miracles in extravagant abundance and peace and healing as I accepted and absorbed this amazing gift of life I have been given, joy overflowing and I have been blessed me in so many ways I know I will never run out of ideas to share about the grace that has come my way.

That doesn’t mean I, or everything in my life is perfect, or will ever be, while I am on this earth. That’s not even the point. A few months ago I went for a walk. My spirit was troubled and I needed to talk to God. Nature is my best place to communicate with my creator. I never fail to connect with God in the beauty of this world that has been so lavishly decorated! As I sat on a bench and started to talk to God something interesting happened…I really wanted to complain about what was happening to me – ha, yet as I began, the amazing glory of God, the maker of heaven and earth began to come into my focus, and I realized that I had nothing but thanks and praise to give and my heart and the words changed. I realized that God already knew my problem and is taking care of it..already…and I gave thanks in a whole new understanding. I sat on the bench and wrote the following song lyrics:

I’ve come to talk to you again
Oh won’t you hear another story
My whole world is at its end
When suddenly I see your glory

Cause I don’t need to ever fear
I’ve seen your miracles and wonders
So I will rest. You’ll dry my tears
Then I’ll fall asleep while my heart ponders

Your love, Your love
Is more than I could ever hope
Your love, Your love
I want the world to know
Cause everybody ought to know

I’ve come to listen once again
Oh let me hear you in this silence
Your grace will fill me to the brim
Shine your light right in the violence

Your light, Your light
Pours though my soul into the night
Your light, Your light
Help me and guard my heart
Cause everybody needs Your light

All I can do is give you thanks
All I can do is praise your name
All I can do is sing you a love song
Every day and all night long

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