over and over
This world doesn’t improve by demanding perfection. It improves when we reach through our armor and touch another with tenderness. It improves when we bust through the walls of our conditioning, and try a new way of being on for size. It improves when we work through our unresolved shadow and share what little light we can find. It is the small, positive steps that we take when we are at war with ourselves that change the world.
– Jeff Brown
awe…
examination…
this same thought keeps appearing
again…
I delete…
again…
I delete…
haven’t I already written a poem?
haven’t I already written that exact one?
What have I left out?
What haven’t I examined properly?
There are always layers
As Shrek reminds me,
I am an onion…
layers…
yes, layers
illusions
shadows
truth left to excavate
healing to be won
motivations to uncover
mystery to be discovered
always more
God keeps getting bigger
as I examine my own heart,
reduce my need to be right,
open my hands wider.
realization dawns
growth happens
humbles me…
my best self emerges within this process
send it again…
remind me again…
💞
Amy Lloyd
Dear God,
I’m getting tired of your mystery.
I feel distant. I can’t get to you.
Like digging in sand that keeps caving in.
Like running and getting nowhere. Reaching but not touching.
There is a thin crust of ice on the surface of my soul.
I want to break through and come to you, to dive into you deeper.
I want to be more here. More present. Deeper in.
What is holding me back? Is it my discipline?
My need to surrender more? May scatteredness?
My over-anxious ego?
Break my ice, God. Break through. Melt me. I want more.
Come to me.
Beloved,
I am here. You are here. You are in me already.
Where do you think you want to go?
Where do you think I am?
I am the sand. I am the ice. I am the space.
I am the longing.
Just stop. Here we are.
Here we are.
I love you.
__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
life: acoustic & amplified 