life: acoustic & amplified

free will

As I was going up the stair

I met a man who wasn’t there!

He wasn’t there again today,

Oh how I wish he’d go away!

 

When I came home last night at three,

The man was waiting there for me

But when I looked around the hall,

I couldn’t see him there at all!

Go away, go away, don’t you come back any more!

Go away, go away, and please don’t slam the door…

________________________

William Hughes Mearns

Dear H.,

 I’m almost beside myself — inside a storm of mood swings, that came from nowhere — this beautiful day! Something is all wrong — but how, after almost two years, can it be so sudden? A nap after lunch with the room quiet, the fan barely a whisper — only by realizing you’re here this way was a sense of reprieve able to dawn. Was it a mistake to invite along his mother? Only if we really try and work at meaning what we say about love continuing will we stand a chance, against outlandish odds. He had to have been the world to us, but may never understand. There I go, the Atlas syndrome to add fuel. Be still, my heart. Somewhere, another has been through it, and in their eyes I may know. Everything from nine years ago is coming back — I have to think this was unavoidable. To think the heart never rests, and loves us more than we knew. With that, there should have been a blessing to carry forward decades, and it is the truth that it is, and it might still. If you were here, you would tell me to adore it, in that same way a golden tabernacle hides something inside, acting like a magnet for your thoughts, at center of the sanctuary, behind an altar perfect in its bareness.

 Truly, for now

   M.

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Miguel Escobar 2017

Woke up this morning after a bad bad night 

That beautiful day gone wrong 

So long

Drinkin coffee in the morning light

Nine years in I don’t belong

Long gone

Who’s gonna rescue me now

Who’s gonna save me from this cold, cold world

Who’s gonna give a damn

Who’s gonna hold me when the lights go down

Sat down this morning after a long hard flight

That beautiful song was done – 

no fun

Face in the mirror what a frightful sight

Making my feet wanna run

run run

Who’s gonna rescue me now

Who’s gonna save me from this hard, hard world

Who holds my heart in hand

Who’s gonna hold me when the lights go down

Oh, What a beautiful world

Oh, what a lovely emotion

What a fine lesson learned

Oh, what a cold hard world

Oh, what determined devotion 

What a love to be earned

Who’s gonna rescue me now

Who’s gonna save me from this wild, wild world

Who’s gonna take my hand

Who’s gonna hold me when the lights go down

❤

Amy Lloyd

Turning

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid” (John 14:27).

 

You are made to remember Me . . . and forget Me, too. I gave you a mind to think and be influenced by many things. You hear this and feel that. What you read and see and hear ─ the experiences you have in this world ─ all shape you, influence how you view the world and how you choose to live in it.

 

Your heart, too, is unique in how it is not wired to love Me, like a machine obeys a command. A machine does not feel. The heart I give you can love many things. And yes, you can forget me, get distracted by this world and pull away from Me, stop loving Me. And yes, it breaks my heart ─

and angers Me, too.

 

I both pursue you and surrender you when I made you. I knew you would come to know Me, follow Me. But I knew you would be pulled away from Me, too. And this is why I keep pulling you back.

 

Right here, right now, you are pursuing Me. You lean in and listen and seek and desire more than what is physically seen in this world.

 

Go deeper, child.

 

I chase you, and you can run away. But you can chase Me, too, and I will never turn away from you. I woo you. I desire you. But girl, when you forget me, I don’t stop desiring you. I don’t stop loving you. I do not do as the world does. I am not fickle and impatient. I am not distracted.

I know who I love.

 

You are here, now, not forgetting Me. You are here, now, letting yourself be pursued. You are here, now, surrendering . . . aren’t you?

 

Let me purify your heart so you know what you pursue and why you do it. Let me woo you with kindness and love so your head is cleared and your heart knows what love is.

 

I come from a pure place, knowing every piece of you. Just turn, a little bit, towards me.

 

I will help you turn even more.

 

❤

 

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